The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hey everyone. I am a bit lost right now and I found this site. I am hoping that someone here will understand and can give me some insight. My fiance is a recovering addict/alcoholic. She is 2.5 years clean from drugs and just a little over a month for alcohol. She is really trying to get her life together. She was just diagnosed as being bipolar, so she is now on meds for that. She is also getting her health in order.
We are in a long distance relationship so things are hard. Right now I worry so much because she is having daily headaches and isn't sleeping. She sees her doctor in a few days, but I worry so much. I can only imagine how hard all of this is for her and I am so proud of her, but it is taking its toll on me. I MISS her. She is more distant lately and I am very loney. I KNOW she loves me, but this is so hard. I am trying not to be selfish and I know this is probably just part of the process. How do you deal with it??? It's LONELY!!! I try not to say too much. She knows I'm struggling too, but I don't want to put any pressure on her. I just try to be her rock and support her. It's just hard! When will it get better?
Aloha Engaged...My suggestion is short and from my own experiences. The solutions to this problem can be found in the rooms of the Al-Anon Family Groups where you will meet others who have gone thru what you are going thru right now and have found the solutions also in the the rooms of the Al-Anon Family Groups...me being one of those.
The hotline number for Al-Anon in your area is in the white pages of your local telephone book. Look it up, make the call and get the meeting places and times that are good for you and then...go as soon as you can. Let us know how it works for you...we love to see others find the miracle we have. (((((hugs)))))
Hello Engaged. I find myself in the same boat and very recently came to this forum in much pain also. My situation is a bit different but the pain is the same. As Jerry suggests Ive gone to several meetings and LISTEN. In reading their 1st step it gave me some big insights along with discovering Im a co dependant person, whatever that really means. Unfortunately at these meetings I want ALL of what some of the participants have, NOW. But I know it takes that four letter word = TIME. Ive done some praying, reading and talking and that helps. I also suffer bigtime a lot of pain realizing the pain I put her through the last few years. GOOD LUCK
I have found that the best decision I have ever made was to go to Alanon. For me true strength developed when I began going to meetings and working the steps with a sponsor from my face to face meetings. There are many people here as well in the rooms of Alanon who have walked the same walk as you are now. Perhaps you may find it of value to hear their experience, strength and hope.
I understand the difficulties of long distance relationships because for a 1.5 years before I was married, I had to commute to see them.
In my home group closing it says "if you try to keep an open mind, you will find help". You will discover that though you may not like all of us, you will come to love us in a very special way".
Thank you for sharing. Keep coming back. It works. Tommye
Hi there engaged and welcome to MIP. I want to say I can relate to your share and what has really helped me is Al-anon face to face meetings, hopefully you can find some in your area and Al-anon literature. This site is great to come find people to help you through the process also. Keep coming back and please find your way towards Al-anon meetings in your area, i think you may find it helpful!
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God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
Keep posting. We love to hear what you have to say. You have taken great courage to do so. I would like to continue to encourage you to share from your heart in this forum where people really relate and understand what you are going through. That is the power of Alanon, and the power of this message board.
