The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Some might recall that I shared a while back about attending Al-Anon meetings with my sister who has been in AA for several decades. I'm here to give those who are interested an update on how that is going.
Initially, I was a bit disappointed that my sister began attending meetings with me. I felt as though she was invading my space. The first few times, I felt unable to share with the group because she was there. However, while I was experiencing frustration "during" the first initial meetings with her, I'm beginning to get to know my sister "after" the meetings.
Just like last night, we were the last ones out of the parking lot. After meetings, we go outside and begin to share with each other about our feelings of growing up with a mother who has a severe personality disorder. Funny how shared the same bedroom growing up, but yet we never talked. We didn't know how. Anyway, I don't want to go down memory lane with you all. But I now touch on childhood memories and especially feelings with my sis and we've begun to actually bond. Some of what our mother did and said was a bit bizarre and some would say downright cruel (I don't want to stand in judgment). We both, all these years, just kept this stuff inside and didn't share with others because we were concerned what others would think of us. But now we have each other to compare notes, validate that, yes, some of these crazy things our mother did actually happened; it's not our imaginations. Most importantly, we aren't into blaming her or others; we are into supporting ourselves and each other's growth.
Imagine, going through life up into your mid-fifties with not knowing your sister, even though she had lived nearby the entire time. It was painful at times. I tried to build a bridge many times during our young adult lives, but eventually gave up because she had such a huge wall around here. But now, she is slowly breaking the wall down and letting me in. I don't even have to apply force.
So, Al-Anon is not only helping me heal from a longtime alcoholic marriage, it has given me my sister that I never knew!
I no longer feel uncomfortable sharing at meetings with her in attendance. Just in two short months, my feelings changed - like a miracle.
Never, in my wildest dreams would I have dreamt that this would happen. Never.
Life gets pretty cool when you open up!
-- Edited by GailMichelle on Wednesday 11th of May 2011 11:57:40 AM
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You have to go through the darkness to truly know the light. Lama Surya Das
Resentment is like taking poison & waiting for the other person to die. Malachy McCourt
That is fabulous GailMichelle. I could relate to your story. My sister attended a meeting with me who is not in another 12 step program but I too felt the "you are in my space" feeling. I was uncomfortable sharing in meetings while she was present. We have talked a little about what it was like for us growing up, but not too much. Perhaps I will have the same experience one day as you have with your sis.
