The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It was probably the most amazing thing for me to do, because this was an old school meeting. These guys that were there were all in their 40's-'60's and some had decades of being recovered. We went together, my bf said he will do anything to get better. I had told him I was going no matter if he went or not. Anyway, the meeting was about Hope. After a few shares they asked us two new people if we wanted to talk. They asked HIM 3 questions: DO you believe you have a problem with drugs and alcohol? He said yes and that he had drank some yesterday. DO you want to be fully recovered? and he said yes. WHAT will you do to get better? He said ANYTHING....He told a little of his story, and admitted to having had a few drinks yesterday and they all thanked him for being honest and having the bravery to say that. After hearing that this meeting was old school and back to the basics I was scared to say much, but something moved in me and I started talking. I said I was there from alanon, however I felt I had the same disease as them because I use people instead of substances to get away from my own pain. I told them what my obsession was (HIM) and that I was so thankful that I had gone to their meeting. I apologized for talking at the meeting, since I know I wasn't supposed to, but none of them had a bad word for me. They were thankful that I talked! Then my bf talked some more, he never talks at meetings at all that I have ever known from what he says. He said "I am here for her, I want her in my life, and I know I am about to lose her. She is the sweetest and kindest person in the world. She is the woman I love and want to be with, and I want to get better" I was astonished. I don't feel nice and sweet at all of course. I felt I was there on my knees, at my bottom. I am about to stop our relationship because I can't see how it will ever work because I am so sick and he says he wants to get better and come through this together. I know I need to do alanon as well, and I will. Today I have my nephew's birthday party so I can't get to a meeting for me today. He got some phone numbers and one of the guys that he got a number from used to use opiates too so he has been where abf is at.
I am on my knees, I need love and support, I don't know how to love me. I don't know how to love me at all... Thank you all for encouraging me to go. I also contacted WSO and my local alanon to see about starting a meeting here that I can get to....
Thanks.
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-youfoundme
Let go and let God...Let it be... let it begin with me...
YFM, I am so glad you did. Open AA meetings particularly speaker meetings helped me to have compassion for the alcoholic and the struggles they are going through. Congrats to you for sharing openly in the meeting. I think that took great courage.
Alanon loved me until I learned to love myself. I hope you feel that when you go to our meetings. That love is what keeps me coming back.
Hang in there! I started going to al-anon meetings about 3 years ago and I am a completely different person now. I am far from perfect, but having a higher power in my life has changed EVERYTHING. My only advice is not to quit before the miracle happens. Keep coming back!
Some people will say it is bad that he said he is going to AA for you...but honestly, if it takes that to get him started then it's all good. Eventually he will have to switch over and keep going for him though the same as your focus in alanon is for you.
Yes, Pinkchip I have heard that, however, the guys there at AA said to him that if he wasn't so selfish and would think of me more he would be able to stop. Sometimes there needs to be a reason to get better. My reason is my kids, and I am sure I will be in that equation eventually when I can actually focus on me for more than 30 seconds at a time... :) Thanks!! He went to his own meeting this morning, after calling one of the guys to come get him :)
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-youfoundme
Let go and let God...Let it be... let it begin with me...
((you found me)). I've been to quite a few open AA meetings and I also really liked them. I feel they helped me to become less resentful and bitter and more compassionate and understanding for the struggle's A's go through. Also, hearing the stories of others, to see where they were, and how far they've come, was hopeful.
