The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
the topic at our meeting tonight was obsession. I shared honestly that I am obsessed by many things it was the drinkers drinking, then when he got sober it was his life. Lately we have not seen each other but I am still sick my mind hurts from all the obsessive thinking, I even obsess in my s;leep. This is scary but at least I feel as though I am looking at me today although it is hard and I feel like I am going crazy.
I have not seen my sober abf for 3 weeks and have not spoke to him for over a week. I have been putting the focus on me its been hard but I have to get better. things seem to be getting worse in some ways but I know its just I am facing reality. My sober ABf text me today to ask me what time the meal is next week for my sons 18th Bday. I froze I did not answer I was scared I think I do not want him to come I am scared it will trigger my addiction/obsession with him. He rang tonight when I got home from my meeting I was in a bad place crying so did not answer. He rang again I answered he said did you get my text today? I was honest and told him yes but I was having abd day and would ring him when I feel better. He then txt saying pull yourself together I am sorry for ringingx. I did not reply. I really want to get better. I can not focus o myself when I am around him. I want to tell him this and ask him to not come to my sons 18th but I feel bad. I feel like I should be mature let him come with his two teenage sons but stay detached but my inner voice tells me I am not strong enough. I do not want to hurt his feelings but I am really not well I really need to start to take care of me.
How would it come out for you do you think if you also had your sponsor there or another trusted member of the program? Just a thought I've seen work a time or two in the past. Hmmmmm (((((hugs))))) Happy Birthday to your son...18 years of age!!
