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Guess I`am suppose to be looking for serenity but what I feel like doing is finding my 36 year old daughter and wacking her and telling her to wake up! Look what your doing to your little girl! I `am just so upset right now... and sick and tired of hearing about mommy smelling of beer early in the morning when she comes to pick her up for school. This daughter of mine can`t handle 'xxxx'. Every other week she has a new guy and they all drop her. She is beautiful, so obviously whatever she is doing must be a real turn off. When ever they leave, the drinking escalates. She thinks she is fooling everyone and she really had me fooled the last few days if it were not for this grandaughter of mine telling me about the smell AGAIN. Oh, and how my d would deny it.. The point is..my grandaughter said tonite, it sure must make her feel good for her to keep drinking the way she does. My heart skipped a beat. Then she told me, she "loves" the smell of beer. Loves the smell of beer! How can a 7 year old love the smell of beer? I think it may be a consoling smell for her. When she smells it she may have fond thoughts of her mother doing something. I don`t know, I`am trying to make sense of this. All I know is it sounds like the making of another alcoholic. Between both of her parents being addicts and alcoholics. I feel so angry right now... Is there anything I can do? I brought out the book Mama whats Drunk? tonite and read it to her. She seemed to grasp it well. Better than me actually...
Sams
-- Edited by canadianguy on Wednesday 4th of May 2011 12:26:27 PM
(((((Sams)))))...that was good...set aside the anger and resentment and did the next right thing bringing recovery to a 7 year old. Thank you God for this Grandmother.
Your grandaughter loves the person who drinks the beer mom is probably more affectionate when drinking . read the book often to your grandaughter so that she will have some understanding of what is going on . Louise
You are a beacon of stability in your g'daughter's life, she has trust in you enough to share and not hide things. I think you did fantastic reading the book with her and not just have her read it alone.
Read often.....I know it helps me a lot when all around is chaos.
(((samsgram))) At one time I was hard on myself for having anger towards my exAH. Then I accepted I had a right to my feelings. Holding that anger close can sometimes give strength but other times it can feel toxic inside me. When I feel toxic I spend time asking my HP to let me release my anger in healthy ways or to have it removed from my focus. Following HP's guidance and doing something like you chose, reading to your granddaughter something that may help her would be what i consider positive release or refocus. It really helps me. Prayers and wishes Jen
I would love to try and regain custody of the child but from every avenue I have checked into it doesn`t look good that I would get her back. I found out from children services yesterday that by me having dressed this child daily in decent clothes and having made sure she is cleaned that I have underminded what could possibly be gained on my part by the agency having looked into my daughter`s care of her little girl. They told me the first thing they do is go to the school to see if the child is clean and dressed well. If so, they drop the case. All these years I`am trying to help my grandaughter. I let my daughter use my credit card to buy her clothes, I buy her clothes. I bathe her. I call my daughter to remind her to give her a bath. All these things have ultimately underminded a chance that the dept of children and services would take the child out of the home. I never knew! I spoke with a couple of attornies and they said, well if she hasn`t gotten arrested for drunk driving or something big , chances are nil you would win. If I tried to regain custody and failed, she probably would pull the child out of my life. What good is taking a chance like that? I just wish I had something more to go on... Besides the fact that the child loves to be with her mom too!
