I was born into a highly dysfunctional home and was made to be codependent early on. I had all kinds of abuse coming at me and by the time I was 12, I was thinking about suicide because my life had become unmanageable. I verbally over explained myself to everyone that would listen for a decade. When I was in my late 20's I had a friend tell me she didn't want me to verbally throw up on her anymore and I decided I would take my train wreck self to a counselor for help where maybe someone could do more than just listen to me, but know how to handle me.

Fastforward~ me at 32 going through a divorce and having 2 kids and I found me! Well first I found Al-anon and than MIP which helped guide me on this journey. I am not just a Mom or was just a wife, I am not my jobs, I am not my past, I am not even my hobbies. I am a caring person who loves to laugh and I am a bit spicey and fun to hang out with and am open to exploring more about my likes and dislikes and even my feelings on things. Funny that I thought I had to have a title to a group or thing in my life until today! I have my own identity and it's nothing I have done or had to earn. It's just me and I am feeling free for knowing that.

I am learning to enjoy myself whether alone or with people. I am learning to quiet my head and find peace from within. My HP and me are at work in finding joy in my life. I am learning God can handle it! I am learning to smile in the midst of it and find the simplicity in not reacting. I let go of responsiblities that are not mine to bear anyway. I hand over all the A's in my life, by dettaching with love.

Today is a good day for me and I will fail at some things, but not only do I atleast dare to try now, through it I will learn to try again until I eventually succeed at something else. And that it's not the end of the world until it's actually the end of the world. My dramafied self is mellowing out and I am starting to enjoy my fleshy skin a bit more. I get it now progress not perfection, which was hard for me to get, but I think I got it indeed!

I read all of the first steps in my courage to change today and it has helped me to stay on course. So has my life changed yes, because my attitude is changing daily for the better!