So I've been doing really well! Got a new job closer to home and our son is really thriving (he's 21 months). My AH has been sober for a little over 8 months. It's very nice to see him more comfortable in his skin. He's only gone to a few AA meetings but he has been going to weekly therapy since August. I had also set a boundary(a while ago) that he needed to setup marraige counseling for us if he really wanted to stay married. So two months ago, he DID (even someone who specializes in addiction!) and we have gone to 5 session so far, it's been VERY helpful!

His father has throat cancer and has been going through treatment and I have to say I'm very impressed with how much he's stepped up to help his father (his parents are divorced) and being responsible and supportive.

He has been out of the house for over a year now (I asked him due to his active drinking) which has really helped me focus on myself and let him deal with is own stuff. I'm very blessed to have found this program and I have been attending F2F meetings, reading and speaking to other members & my sponsor. I think while I was working on me, he must have either hit some level of a bottom or realized what he had/has to lose because only after a few months out of the house he got sober and got help. All without ME, AMAZING right? (I believe that, that's what happens when you put someone you love in the care and support of your HP)

Anyway, I am a bit concerned that currently we are sitting on this pink cloud due to his newfound sobriety but I am just going to take it one day at a time.

Lately I've been thinking about inviting him back into the house. We have been discussing it with the marriage counselor and I have been discussing it with my sponsor. I want to tread carefully and I know that I can live my life without him but right now I feel like I've got my husband back and it's very nice.

Our marriage counselor suggested that he join me at a few Al Anon meetings (because his family are A's)  and use it for him to get a different perspective to help him with dealing with his emotions. He is now talking about working on getting a sponsor and going to more AA meetings but we'll see if that really happens. I don't have expectations, although I have expressed that I would feel more comfortable with him coming home if he had even more of a support system.

So my plan is to tread carefully and I do have a plan B if him coming home doesn't work but I am keeping the focus on me and feeling so much better!!! Happier for sure and now my life doesn't depend on if our marriage will work or not anymore...

But it's so nice that I listened to the program suggestion of giving it 6-12 months without making any major decisions because now I feel like we are starting a new life. I have hope but I'm also realistic.

I know this is long, so thanks for reading if you get this far.

The other thing I have learned this year as that I cannot live with an Active A, that's just what I learned about ME, so I'm very happy to give our marriage another chance but if he relapses it's not going to last unfortunatly. I do love him, but I love myself and a healthy environment for me and our son more. I feel like it's harse because I've learned a lot of compassion but on the same token I have learned that it's ok to be a bit selfish and self caring.

Hugs to all, it's so nice to be able to share here with you all!