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Talking to my AH the other day, and he was just in a rotten mood! I had just gotten home from work, and he called me, going off on me about how court went the week before.
During that phone call, I realized exactly how far I've come since joining MIP and Al-Anon. I didn't react to him like I would have before.
We have court again on June 2, and he said that if I don't do everything that I can to change the judge's decision, to do whatever I can to change the outcome, that if things don't turn out like he wants, that he's done, that he's not going to fight anymore and file for separation and then divorce... blah blah.. and he asked me if I'm prepared for it. I just replied that I'm prepared for anything. That I will be fine either way. Don't think he liked that very much. Too dang bad for him. I'm already doing everything I'm suppose to, he's the one not seeing the situation for what it is.
They want him in Detox and Rehab (which he's starting next week) and want him in a anger management program. However, considering that we are dealing with CAS, it still might not be good enough for them.. who knows? Anyway, he said that he'll do the rehab, degrade himself while doing it, and that he doesn't care, that he will continue to drink afterwards.
Well, what do I say to that? That's your problem. Maybe he will learn something along the way, maybe he won't. I'm not him, so....
I'm doing what I can. Been doing my counselling.. which by the way, my counsellor says that I have come a long way, that she's proud of how strong I've become, and that she doesn't think I need to keep coming to see her. ( Counselling service provided free from the province, and while I should probably still continue from time to time, there is a HUGE waitlist, and I agree, I have come a long way... I feel that there are many many more people who need their services more than I do) I have been given the tools, it's up to me to continue to use them.
Anyhow, just wanted to stop in, let ya all know how I'm doing. Have an awesome day!
Hi Evian - Getting my AH out of the house and getting myself time to breathe in peace did wonders for showing me how crazy his behavior was and, the more time apart, it is easier to not get dragged into the emotional blackmail game. Mine continues to threaten divorce, says I can fill out the papers if "I" want, like its my choice not his or ours. And would he bristle if he saw me shrug my shoulders at his words? ha, yeah! Congratulations on your detachment!
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I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
Wow Evian!! another miracle...You're going good stay with it...keep coming back...work it cause it works. Good job. As for your alcoholic he's gotta bump into his higher power and want the peace of mind, sobriety and serenity that come from it. He's gotta want what you now have more than he wants a drink or drug. I pray that happens. Why should you be the only miracle hey? He should be one too. ((((hugs))))
Yeah for you Evian, it sounds like you have a nice tool set and know how to use them already. It also sounds liek your awareness is very much up and running. Isn't it amazing when you can finally breath a decent breath of fresh air in and relax in the midst of it all. Keep up the great work and thanks for the share!
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God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.
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