The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So my son has re-appeared, he's been spotted begging again. I'm led to believe he still has a roof over his head. He's in a right state. Its taken him 4 weeks to undo the 9 months of recovery he had, so back to the way he was and worse, seizures, self harm et al.
My thoughts are swinging left and right over the last week and Im bursting into tears over just about everything including not even being able to open the damn packet of cat food without getting it all over my fingers........so I shout at the cat. Insane....I know....... but I'm so furious and fed up with it all. Serenity is currently out the window...........
I'm doing the best I can and know this will pass, I'm alanoning myself up to the hilt.
I'm powerless over his drinking, I know he knows where to go and who to ask for help....if he wants it...... I know there are people other than me better placed to help him if/when he is willing. I hope he has the strength, the will, and the courage to change.
I'm getting myself out and about, I went and had my hair cut and coloured, I painted my nails for the first time in years and looking at them makes me happy. I had a girly day with my friend and tomorrow Im going shopping for my little grand-daughters summer wardrobe, its my birthday treat for her each year........she was 4 last week.
I'm faking it till I make it.
Thanks for being here and letting me pound the keys.....it helps......a LOT!
Love & (((((((hugs)))))
Ness xx
-- Edited by Ness on Tuesday 19th of April 2011 10:29:28 AM
You are brave and stronger than you think, I am very inspired by you.
I think of you in my own situtation with my addicted son and you give me strenght, it is just knowing that someone else knows and understands. But I am so sorry for the reason that you know and understand.
I am so sorry about your circumstances but am very happy to see you trying to go on with your life and taking care of yourself. New haircut, color and painting nails are all things that are almost too hard to think about doing in these times. Horray for you for doing it anyway.
I am right there with you with the crying over every little thing. I had to force myself to go to work today. I am better off here away from it all. I still have my Japanese visitors(including precious granddaughter and dil) and another military wife and her 8 month old staying with me. It will be 4 weeks this coming Friday. I think it is starting to take a toll on me. My military son is here until Sunday too. My older A son started drinking again yesterday after about 2 months. He turned 40 yesterday and was kicked out of his home with crazy current wife and she turned off his phone. My younger son picked him up from the bar and brought him to my house. I went to bed so I didn't have to see him. He has to leave my house today. He also has no place to go and has a half a-s job. I can't do it anymore. I feel like I am losing it....especially with a house full of people.
I will keep you in my prayers as we travel this long road together even tho we have never met in person. Please keep taking care of yourself and I will try to do the same. I did put makeup on this morning. ^_^
I regularly lost my serenity and know much of it for me is from being overtired and tryign to control what I can't. Working on the small things has helped me to work on letting go of the big things.
I'm glad you are dong things you can to make your life bearable. My heart broke in many pieces dealin with more than one alcoholic. I have really had to work on letting go and also work on live and let live. I can be absolutely certain I know what they need.
