The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi everyone. I'm having quite a tough week. Well, more like a tough few months or even years. I have been with my partner for 10 years. He is alcoholic and sometimes drug user. Why I have stayed this long is beyond me. We've gone through the whole cycle of me kicking him out. Promises made, he comes back, only to do it again.
I have two older children with my ex husband. My second born is due to graduate from high school next month. I have a wonderful party planned and was telling my A about it last night. He said he will not come to the party because my ex husband will be there?????? I didn't know how to respond to that. My ex lives two hours away and doesn't bother us. He and I have a good parental relationship. I don't understand this. My a and I have been together a lot of years and he has helped raise my children and he wont come to see him graduate because of this???
Our relationship is over. I know this. We haven't slept in the same room since November. I don't know that he has cheated, but I know there are many nights he stayed out late, and I wasnt willing, and still am not, willing to take that chance. So we manage to co exist with out much conflict.
I guess I hadn't realized what a mess my life really is. lol. I take care of my kids, work and go to alanon. That's about all I do. My A told me back in December that we are too broken to fix. So, I stopped trying, and it didn't bother me until recently. I feel like he traded me in for the alcohol. I'm trying to work through that. I know he did me a favor. I really do. But I stood by him for many years and he throws me away? Ouch.
Sorry for rambling. Just feeling a bit down today.
I third what KimmyJo wrote, i feel like I got traded in for alcohol or maybe I never even had a shot since it was there before me, who knows. However take care of you and your kids and have a great party. Sounds like you are on a road to recovery through Al-anon and will be better for it!
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God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
thank u all for the reminder. Oh I plan on having a great party for my son. I'm so proud of him. I think the rain threw me off this morning. I'm better now. Pity party is over.
Alcoholism trades everyone in for alcohol -- that's what it is. It takes over and is in first second, third, fourth, and fifth place. It distorts their thinking so that all they can see is the craving for more alcohol. Typically it also sucks us into the insanity. So your saying, "But he prefers alcohol to us! This is insane!" is a mark of sanity. It's so important to keep remembering that he's insane.
I hope you can keep on taking good care of yourself.
