The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I haven't been to a f2f Al-anon meeting yet but I have been to a few AA meetings with my AH. It was a really great experience, and I heard a lot that rang true for me. Being a very shy, socially awkward person it was really comforting to go with my H and his sponsor and be kind of taken under their wings and introduced to people through them.
I realise an AA meeting cannot take the place of an Al-anon meeting, but for now, until I can get my courage up, I feel like the occasional AA meeting and reading everything I can get my hands on about Al-anon and codependency has opened up a whole new world for me. ( I'm reading How Al-anon Works by the Al-anon Family Groups right now and I can't put it down )
I was dating a recovering alcoholic for a while and went to AA meetings. I felt the same as you - I really got a lot out of them. I went to a couple of al-anon meetings and didn't like the vibe of those particular meetings.
My most recent ex is an alcoholic in extreme denial. I have by necessity gotten back into going to al-anon. AA meetings are great, but there's such a different focus. I personally don't believe AA meetings can substitute for al-anon meetings, as those of us who care about the addict/alcoholic have a whole different set of issues than the alcoholic themselves.
Hi, Those of us in AlAnon use the same steps as those in AA. But, if you look closely, we work them differently, because our focus is so different.
While the alcoholic is always thinking only about themselves, we alanons are always thinking about others. They are takers, we are givers. We have to remember that when we do some of the steps. I am not powerless over alcohol. I can drink or not drink, no problem. But I am powerless about the affects alcohol use by someone else has in my life. Once I realize that reality, I can get some of my power back, and I can do things to protect myself. Their program works to make them less self-centered. Our program works to make us more self-centered.
I hear a lot of alcoholics who have come to AlAnon to be duel members say, "AA taught me how to not drink. AlAnon taught me how to have relationships and to live."
Aloha Aimee...if that works for you now; do your best with it. Everything I was ever given in Al-Anon was a suggestion, followed by personal experience from someone who had arrived before me and I was told we are not perfect and work for continual progress. One of my early sponsor sugggested to me that "I find and use everything that would help me gain and then maintain my serenity"...I do still. Keep coming back. (((((hugs)))))
An occasional AA meeting is great but ultimatley they are about and for him . Its time to take care of you , Al-Anon will show you how to do that in a healthy and supportive way and for me sitting in my husb meeting often stoped him from really sharring what was on his mind , we need space and diff programs was the way that worked for me . hoping you find your way to Al-Anon soon.
Whatever it takes to get you into your recovery is just dandy, even if it is AA meetings for the time being.... In the end, you need, and will get much more benefit from Al-Anon meetings......
T
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
I agree with the other posters ... whatever it takes to get your butt in the seat at a recovery meeting is awesome! I love open AA meetings. I'm going to one tonight, in fact. My AH is telling his story.
However, as much as these open AA meetings are helpful, I don't take the same thing away from them as I do from Al-Anon meetings.
I can see now that although the steps are the same, the focus is different in AA and Al-anon meetings.
Still kind of confused because the last meeting I went to I met my husband's sponsor's girlfriend who is a long time member of Al-anon, and her sponsor is in AA exclusively. She said she has a home Al-anon group but mostly goes to AA meetings. Hmmmm....
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