Disappointed - again! - Al-Anon Family Group

Tattyhead · Senior Member

Disappointed - again!

flopadopilus · ~*Service Worker*~

I am so sorry to hear this, what an ugly disease indeed!

pineapple · ~*Service Worker*~

(((Tatty))) How disappointing, indeed. I've been through a similar situation with my ah. It's amazing that they can go through such an awful experience yet no matter how physically sick they are, they still manage to get and drink their alcohol. I know this is tough on you, remember to take care of yourself first.

Ness · ~*Service Worker*~

((((Tish))))).........the disease is powerful........we will never understand the insanity of it...... all we can do is try and keep our own sanity intact.

My son has had treatment after treatment, and after his recent stab at sobriety (9months) is now drinking again and in a hell of a mess. It almost killed him last year.....its truly insane.

I understand and empathise.

Love & support

Ness xx

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Dear Tish

I hear you and am so very sorry This dreadful disease takes a powerful toll on us all. You are upset and disappointed naturally, so please be gentle with yourself, try to rest and turn it all over to HP

In my prayers.

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

I feel for you and yours and your A.

As we know it gets worse and we lose them. When they are in the last stage, it can be unbearable for us.

Bless you for hanging in there. He may not have to die alone. This person is very fortunate you are there.

Some people do let them do thru this alone hon. You with your specialness are chooseing to help him by cleaning up the mess

We could always have them have one room, set up for them. Then they can take care of themselves or not. At least you would be close by.

Don't forget hon, to put yourself in the beauty of the earth when you can. Go away to a good movie, shut yourself in the bath tub.

Even now I will make things warm, soft, pretty, flowers, warm tea.....it's hard as we forget the nice stuff sometimes when things are so tough.

When I was with my very sick bil as he was dieing from cirroses, I left the room once and a gal was there with her little dog and ac cat in a stroller going around the ICU. For me it was like a hug from God to hold those animals. Just that warmth and scent and love filled me back up.

When I was with my dear grama Ahart, I took my little dog to her room and me too and we stayed over night with her!I have lots of pics of her asleep with him in her arms. He just seemed to know she needed him.

I am SURE, though you may not know, your very sick A appreciates you. He is not alone.

sending you love,debilyn

Tracy · ~*Service Worker*~

Tattyhead,

I got to the stage were I was sick of picking up the peices and al anon said I did have a choice so I let him pick up his own peices. He is sober today.

take care of you hugs

pinkchip · ~*Service Worker*~

I agree with Tracy. You don't have to pick up the pieces. That is your choice. It is a sucky hand you've been dealt though and I empathize. In the end, he is responsible for himself. You can walk away at any time.

Tattyhead · Senior Member

Thanks dear cyber pals. Yet again you have come to my rescue when I have been very down - and you make me smile.

Tracey and Pinkchip - it really isn't so easy to walk away. I have been married to AH for 39 years. It wasn't always like this. We had over 30 very happy years. Now, he is dependant on me both physically and financially. I would have to support him if we separated as I am the only one earning. I simply cannot afford to run 2 homes. Also, knowing me, I would still worry about him and be round visiting all the time to make sure he was OK! I think I am a salutary tale for all youngsters who are not long into relationships with As. Don't end up like me. Do something about your situation now.

Tish x

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