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My sponsor is starting a step study at her house once a week with 6 women. I'm thinking about going. [Well ... my sponsor has "suggested" that I go - a strong suggestion. Lol. ]
For anyone that has a done a step study like this, what is it like? Especially with respect to the 4th and 5th steps, do you do them in a group?
I'd appreciate anyone's insight. I'm a little apprehensive.
I have been wanting to do one, but I live in a very small rural town and I am lucky to have twice a week Al-anon meetings offered. If it was offered to me I would be signed up already, but I am gung ho right now and am eating up everything I can read and learn like I am studying for a final exam. My sponsor is unavailable for awhile having breast cancer surgery this Tuesday (her second surgery) and it will take her many months to be healed, so pray for her to your HP please. After she is healed God willing she plans on helping me work through the steps. I have heard from others in my meetings that they have had such growth from step studies. Let me know if you do it, what you think of it. Our group is so small I don't dare ask anyone else especially since it is mostly guys.
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God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.
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Thank you guys - I appreciate your comments. I did a step 4/5 about a year ago just with my sponsor. It was such a cleansing process, but just so very personal. I think I was just concerned with sharing a ton of very personal information with a group ... but these women from my face to face group, and my sponsor is comfortable with them. I guess I could go to the first meeting on Tuesday just to see how I feel about it. If I'm not at all comfortable, I don't have to go back - but I won't know unless I try.
At the heart of it, I'm pretty painfully shy and trying new things like this is very hard. I do okay with my face to face meetings because I have been going to them for almost 3 years and know quite a few people. It took me FOREVER to start to share in meetings, and I still blush beet red when it's my turn. I do it now, though, which I didn't before - so maybe one day it won't be hard anymore and it won't make me blush.
I can identify I did not share for an entire year when I first started to attend meetings. When I found meetings where they go around the room and everyone gets to share withut raising their hand I then began to share. Another defect I could not even raise my habd to ask for help
As far as step meetings go
I attend two step meetings a week Each meeting operates in about the same format We discus a step a week. We do 3 readings for CAL, The ODAT How Al anon works or Courage to Change on the particular step we are studying.. Then the meeting is opened and we are asked to share on that particular step and how we are working it in our lives.
When it comes to 4th thru 11th step it is no different. We are free to share our assets, defects and destructive actions if we so decide. When I first started attending step meetings I was so empowered to look at myself as I listened to members reveal their inventory without shame, or blame To hear members own up to being dishonest, manipulating, gossiping blaming and all those things I hide from myself gave me permission to do likewise. I love step meetings for this reason
I just spoke at a 4th step meeting this afternoon and had no difficulty in reviewing my "defects" and what I uncovered in my inventory as I worked the step. It was so refreshing for me to hear the room burst in laughter on several occasion as I described my many attempts to control and manipulate my world.
Alanon Steps are what recovery is all about and I love meetings devoted to them.
You are going to want to bring that aprehensiveness up also. It will be safe because the group has common interest and intentions and goals. Step study groups, for me have almost always been very good and focused rather different than a discussion share or "talk story" meeting. I like them because of the potential for growth.
When you get to be a sponson you also get to "strongly suggest"...lol. I've never seen that done outside of love. enjoy (((((hugs)))))
I have done step groups like your describing several times , when it comes to step 5 our group goes to thier respective sponsors then comes back to the group to finish the rest of the steps . A group of people you trust * discussing step 4 * was awsome , but step 5 was private one on one with our sponsors . I would never do it in a group setting . Louise
Hmm - all the feedback has given me a lot of perspective! Thanks!
It's funny, but it never actually occurred to me to *ask* my sponsor how the 5th step would be handled. Maybe I could just *ask.* Haha - still so hard to ask questions for me sometimes, even when it shouldn't be!
I will go to the step study tomorrow, be honest about how I'm feeling, and just see how it goes.
