The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I've been doing really good at working the program. I've been reading tons of literature, going to meetings, making positive changes. But, Im falling back into old behavior. I start reacting again to my boyfriend when I know he's been drinking. Im losing that confidence I had just a short time ago. I felt confident about setting my boundaries and knowing that if he left me that was his loss, not mine. I felt like I could tell him how I felt without him getting angry. Im back at the point where Im avoiding him because Im scared to know if he is drinking or not. Im scared to tell him how I feel because I dont want him to get mad at me. Im scared. Im avoiding. Im angry and Im lost. I know I've only been in program for a few months, but I feel like Im worse off then when i started
It may feel as if you have completely fallen back to before program but believe me you have absorbed much information and obtained new tools to live by You have done your work and achieved positive results,. You have deep new awareness and because you have more clarity it feels more intense.
Keep using your tools, pray, live one day at a time, focus on you You will be back on track shortly. Keep on keeping on and remember not to leave before the miracle
Mallory if I had a dollar for everytime I slipped I would retire. Welcome to the club....the human club. The wonderful thing about this program is you can start over everyday. The last thing you are is worse off now than you were when you started the program. Your reading your literature, going to meetings, and taking steps forward. Nothing wrong with taking a step back. Tomorrow is a new day. Remember it's one day at a time. We can't change the past but the program allows us to to have a fresh start everyday. And for that I am thankful.
Aloha Corgi...Minding our own business is one of the tools of recovery. Staying out of the alcoholic's goings on is great for serenity and sanity and not talking to them about you and how you think and feel is a practice in humility. My alcoholic didn't need to know and when I use to tell her it didn't improve anything. She was just into the next drink and alcoholic self centered behaviors. Go talk with your sponsor - that makes much more sense and has benefits. Keep coming back (((((hugs)))))
Our recovery is seldom a nice, neat, linear process of steady gains. There are going to be slips and slides backwards. As hotrod says, you haven't lost the knowledge that you've acquired along the way -- you just haven't had enough practice time yet. It's possible that this knowledge is what is making it appear that you are "worse off" because you have a new awareness of your own behaviours. Before Al-Anon, you didn't know what you didn't know.
I've heard it said so many times that we didn't get this way overnight, and we're not going to get healthy overnight either.
Honestly, I'm not sure that I wouldn't slip big time when faced with my own ABF drunk; I'm just lucky that he hasn't relapsed since I've been in Al-Anon.
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Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could... Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. - Emerson
Sounds like you are still on the right path you posted here didn't you? I am reading Getting Them Sober and it is a great read if you are looking for some more Al-anon tools.
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God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
It's possible that this knowledge is what is making it appear that you are "worse off" because you have a new awareness of your own behaviours. Before Al-Anon, you didn't know what you didn't know.