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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> "Hope for Today": and my encouragement - They [the A's] have the disease, I live with the dis-ease it causes.
Post Info TOPIC: "Hope for Today": and my encouragement - They [the A's] have the disease, I live with the dis-ease it causes.
Suzannah


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"Hope for Today": and my encouragement - They [the A's] have the disease, I live with the dis-ease it causes.
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Hi Family,

Many of you will know that I have travelled a long journey over the last forty years, twenty of them with a very violent alcoholic, who ripped our family to shreds and has left a trail of damaged people behind him who are still struggling today to come to terms with all the abuse and violence and distruction that his habit wreaked on the family.

I do not post often now and I know that the last five years have seen the most healing for me, but I read this in my copy of "Hope for Today" this morning and I wanted to share it with you all.  Not all of it applies to me, but it is surprising how much I can relate to.  It made me think of this family of wounded hearts and lives.

p91 - [March 31] - Hope for Today.

'Before Al-Anon I despised and feared God.  I detested organized religion.  I believed if I didn't give generously, I would pay horribly for not doing so, I was convinced I was bad.  I magnified every reprimand and diminished every compliment.  I used to feel angry with God for making me so wrong, so misshapen, so shy, so sexually charged, and so fearful of the objects of my cravings.

Then I came to Al-Anon.  I attended meetings, got a sponsor, read Conference Approved Literature, applied the Steps and Traditions, and volunteered for service positions.  I took risks.  I shared my thoughtss and feelings at meetings and in between.  I found a Higher Power like nothing I had ever encountered in any organized religion despite everything promised by them.

I found I could express my anger to my Higher Power, I know I cannot hurt Him or Her or It, and it's a relief to scream my anger and pain into a sunset or at the stars. Trusting my Higher Power helps me not to obsess about outcomes and not to be bitterly disappointed when things don't turn out my way.  By turning things over to my Highter Power, I can let go of  my attachments and feel more at peace with myself, my life, and my world.'

I have problems with the term Higher Power as I see it disrespectful to God, the God I know and believe in so I chose to use God instead of Higher Power and I do not take on some of this text for myself but other than that I see an enormous amount of wisdom and power in this shared experience and do urge any of you who have not joined an Al-anon group and who do not know of the Steps and Traditions of that group to join if there is one near you.  There is none near me and I am not able to join a group but the whole essence of a group of supporters who share common experiences can only but help one to walk this difficult path to recovery.

This family and this forum has been a wonderous support group for me doing these last five years and I will continue to pop in and out and even post from time to time.

Today, however, I want to share the HOPE I have found in my determined walk for wholeness and a healthier life which God, Al-anon with its Steps and Traditions and this Forum and family have played and still do play a HUGE part in my day to day struggles with a dis-ease (caused by the A)  that affects more than the one with the drinking problem who is living with the disease of alcoholism.

They [the A's] have the disease, I live with the dis-ease that it causes.

God bless, sent with love,

Suzannah

heart.gif

 



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Out of the ruin of my past I have found the fortress of myself and I know how to defend it.

Strive for WISDOM; Seek SERENITY; NEVER compromise your INTEGRITY.
hotrod


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Dear Suzannah that certainly a perfect reading from the Hope for Today.  Each thought and feeling touched a deep part of my being and I felt that I could have written it!!!  I then  remembered that this  is why al anon meetings, and groups are so  powerful.  We meet as equals and share or ESH because by doing this we discover our strengths and connect with others walking this road.  I heard  a young women at a meeting last night state,  she was embarrassed to admit that she was glad her dad was an alcoholic.  The reason for this is if he was not  she would never have found al anon and the powerful tools that are offered.
 
I thought about that and realized that my problems were within me long before I met and married an alcoholic . I choose my husband , because I loved him. I also knew his drinking was out of hand, and  I believed  that I was super powerful and could control it, I also thought that because he loved me so much that I could manipulate any situation to my advantage ,and lastly  he was exciting and I wanted an exciting life.  I Certainly got that exciting painful life but I was dead wrong on how I could handle it!!!!!
 
I thank you for sharing this and I thank God for al anon and al anon for God
 
 


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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
Debilyn


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Thank you for sharing that lady! I am so glad you come here and share your recovering. You give so many hope, and your sharing helps others know they are not alone in this.

Hugs sis, deb



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
danz1886


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Thanks A for ur help!


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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> "Hope for Today": and my encouragement - They [the A's] have the disease, I live with the dis-ease it causes.