My ah & I did something kind of underhanded yesterday. I don't want to go into what it was but I feel guilty. It has to do w/ my MOM who I love dearly. Anyhow, I hope if she ever finds out she will forgive us. Like Forrest Gump says, that's all I have to say about that!

Now I have to go on w/ my life & struggle w/ something else, I guess. I hope I can move on w/ a less guilt-filled life.  I am so grateful that I have this program & this site to vent my frustrations. I am still struggling w/ the dad situation--more tests & more uncertainty.

To whoever said that I should take a vacation, you are right! I think the trip to Seattle is going to be a vacation w/ strings attached. I hope I can enjoy some time away. I wish that I could do it on my terms: there goes the control-freak in me again. I am looking forward to a time when I can have a guilt-free vacation knowing that we can afford it w/o reservation too.

And, yes courage is fear that has said its prayers; I like that one among many slogans & other things that I have learned in this program.

Yesterday, I HALTed a little. I wanted to spend time w/ an Alanon friend & her family so bad that I got too hungry,& tired. Oh well...I could've eaten w/ them--my fault. I am just so glad that they were there when I needed to not be lonely & had some good conversations & laughed a little--which I needed to calm my nerves! I am so grateful to my friend for putting up w/ my sometimes difficult circumstances.

I won't let today be a bad day! I will let my struggles go & work on me. I am having a good morning so far & will continue the positive outlook I am trying to achieve.

God help me to get through this day!

Kathleen