Without the drama life seems dull - Al-Anon Family Group

flopadopilus · ~*Service Worker*~

Without the drama life seems dull

Mattie · ~*Service Worker*~

What have you always wanted to do? Go to Australia, learn to kayak, make movies, volunteer at an orphanage in India, sell earrings you make, teach cooking classes, rescue puppies, take a cruise, see Mayan ruins, learn Spanish, run a marathon, plant a wonderful garden with a stone bench in the middle, enter your jam at the county fair, make a quilt, participate in a poetry slam? They say to think about what you did for fun when you were twelve. I know I get a lot of extra zest in my day from thinking about doing something I had written off as "not for me/not possible." Sometimes the big goals are more reachable than the little ones because we get that extra adrenaline and excitement from the big goals. I've just decided to work on a goal that always seemed too intimidating before, and it's really added a lot to my day. I hope maybe you can find something like that too. The sky's the limit!

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

I experience this too. I mean after a heavy loss. After a long time of caring for a sick animal, making huge decisions.

We are so used to whatever it is we are living thru, that when it ends, its another loss. They we will find what is next. IN TIME.

I know what you mean. I can tell you I just kept going. In time it all fell together where life felt ok again.

Boredom is not becuz you are inactive. Its like any emotion. If it wasn't then doing something would cure it, but that doesn't work.

Like any emotion it will change. Sometimes I have to let whatever is, be that. Just coast thru it as nothing stays the same. I don't fight that which I cannot change.

I can tell you I never get bored, but I do get anxious sometimes for awhile till things become routine again.

Just ride it on thru! love,deb

likemyheart · ~*Service Worker*~

Hey Karen - I can teach you how to catch skunks! Imagine my relief sometimes when I check the trap and I haven't caught one? It makes me prefer (appreciate) the boredom of sitting around the house playing on the computer . Its also kinda fun believe it or not, except those days when its raining and cold and I REALLY hope I haven't caught one....

delhommefan · Veteran Member

Karen, I know how you feel. We are the same age and both Moms. I also try to focus on my daughter, go to meetings, I am a full time student, I work part-time, I work out, I go to church, and I have been working hard to be a better friend. I am also very busy but sometimes I feel like I have no life. I am reading "Co-Dependent No More" by Melodie Beattie and this book has helped me a lot with this. I don't really know why...I guess it's just the clarification that I am this way, and this is how "we" are, and I do a lot of work out of that book in my spare time. Boring I know but it does help.

One of the chapters talks about goal setting...that's my favorite chapter. It tells you to list your goals, whether it's something you want to achieve today or years down the road. It helps me realize that I have a lot going for me and I am NOT a boring person lol. Sometimes I still feel like I am acting like I'm 50 instead of 32 though I admit. But at least I am living healthy and doing the very best I can for my daughter and myself.

(((HUGS)))

Lori

abbyal · ~*Service Worker*~

Funny how we miss the chaos isn't it ? Trust me boring is beautiful . biggrin I suspect your in the * How do you manage when thiers no one left to manage* stage of recovery .Were lost with nothing to control but our selves , when I spoke to my sponsor about this along time ago I said ok I gave everyone back thier lives , am minding my own business so now what ? she looked at me and said well dear now its time for You to get a life . duh

sick-and-tired · Member

Hi I'm new here..but I hope its okay that I add in my two cents. :)

I think its just something *new*...you're used to the drama...its just a change thats all :)

I think it's great that you have succeeded, and continue to make positive changes.

It is very admirable, and once you have found your "niche" I think it will be a lot easier to adjust.

Try doing something to spark some adrenaline. (Without creating drama haha)

Try skydiving...traveling...run outside and SCREAM at the top of your lungs for no reason

flopadopilus · ~*Service Worker*~

I love all the responses. I have read Codependant No More as Lori suggested and set goals for the most part, that is why I am doing a 5k and a few other things. I went sky diving 10 years ago and have the video to prove it. I don't think I actually need something else to do, just a way to occupy my mind in a healthy way. Keeping tabs on my exAH took a lot of time and energy and I have a hard time relaxing. My mind easily worries especially late at night when I want to sleep. I guess that is it, I haven't found a new niche for this season of my life as sick-and-tired said. It seems as I change I usually find something to busy my mind with and right now I haven't. Wow Mattie you opened up a lot of avenues for me and even more from likemyheart although skunk catching doesn't scare me, I love all animals. Hmm I guess it's more about getting comfortable in my own skin kind of a thing and learning to coast as Debilyn put it. And abbyl put it best missing the chaos and (love of my life). Now to find my own! Onward and upward with my HP. Thanks for all the ESH it is always so great!

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.