The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My Name is Valiant and I am a recovering meth addict, clean for 15 years. I got clean and sober when my father died of prostate cancer. I am now 54 years old. I was very high functioning in my addiction, nobody knew I was using except my connection and I was working and living in nice digs in Hollywood, CA at the time. I was a daddies girl through and through. When he got sick with prostate cancer I started therapy to ready me for his death. (you are never ready). I was diagnosed with DID...what they used to call Mpd and had 23 alters at first diagnoses. My therapist cut me a generous deal, but told me I had to quit speed or she would not treat me. So I quit drinking, speed, and smoking right then and there. I also never wanted to be an old addict (I was 38 at the time and had promised myself I would quit by 40). Got into program and started doing my steps. The DID however had me all over the place. I could not work, I was having trouble functioning at all. I was homeless for a year, never used once in that time, was so tired of no structure, surviving from day to day alone, I finally went down to skid row in Los Angeles, called the Nickel, and begged for them to take me in to the inpatient rehab at the Sal Army. Everything there was program based, and I had 90 days to get it together. A life saver. Went on to a halfway house and got involved with another recovering addict. Good News was he got a job offer from the Denver Salvation Army and after having lived together for a year, we got married and moved here to Denver. We both stayed sober and on track for 11 years, but he left me for another woman in the church, and we divorced in 2006. I have since been living alone with my 3 cats in sobriety, on disability. I have no car now, so I am pretty much a shut in and go to therapy twice a month, group therapy for anxiety disorder every week and have only 3 alters left. I have removed all drama from my life, feel no need to get back at people who hurt me and don't feel a compulsive need to control everything. I am on meds psych and diabetes, but have been taking the same psych meds with the same dosages for 15 years which has helped me manage my depression and anxiety. I gained weight after getting clean, lots of weight, and have had no luck losing it. My doctors and I are considering surgery.
Enter Active ABF. I met this guy on facebook about a year ago. We have shared photos and talk on the phone daily. We have fallen in love, he drinks wayyyyy to much and I have broken up with him over and over, only to go back to him and try to just deal with his drunk spells of raging. I am supposed to meet him soon, and if it works out in person (same chemistry blah blah) I am going to go live with him in Kentucky on his farm. I will inject here that my brother is a District Atty in another state and looked him up when I first met him, and everything Active Abf told me about his life is true. And no DUI's or criminal/civil record of any kind, and no Domestic Violent beefs either. He was also married once for 11 years and was divorced around the same time I was.
His drinking is getting worse, He has his own biz and is high functioning, but I get all the dysfuntion of why he drinks, when he drinks, and the drama of the affects of the drinking. He feels because he is so functional, that he is NOT an alcoholic.
I decided that I want to be with him, and want to try Al anon to get help for me.
Tomorrow is ST. Patties day, and I am ramping up for a bumpy time. I hope I can get into an online meeting between now and then....
Thanks for reading, I am so relieved to be here....Thanks in advance for your friendship and MIP!!!
Welcome. Alanon is for anyone who is a family member or friend with alcohol and are affected by someone's drinking. You will find frienship and support here.
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Take it one day at a time. If that is too much take it a minute at a time.
Thanks for sharing and now I would like to suggest that you try to find Face to face Al Anon meetings in your community You can go to the white pages of the telephone book under laanon and call the main number Thye will direct you to meetings in your community. We also have on line meetings her and a 24/7 chat.
You are not alone and I urge you to Keep coming back
Aloha Valiant...Welcome to MIP. I wasn't feeling so grateful after reading your intro mostly because it reminded me sooo much of myself in many areas and I thought I had let that reaction go a long time ago and maybe it's really empathy. I suggest you put a hold on every other thing in your life and get to 90 meetings in 90 days (that's from experience and not superior thinking) and just sit down, still and listen, listen, listen and continually ask for help. Last time I married an active Alcoholic...I did it against my better judgment and there after poured gasoline over what was left of my life and threw a match into it. I relied on luck and luck can't do anything against a life threatening disease.
