Hanging by a thread - Al-Anon Family Group

Crossroad · Newbie

Hanging by a thread

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Crossroads

Welcome to MIP I do believe we can all identify with your Log In- Name and the title of your posting

You are right we are powerless and every time we attempt to gain control and manipulate situations we seem to crash hard.

You have come to a safe place where you will be heard, supported and loved. I would like to suggest that you look for al anon face to face meetings in your community You can find that by going to following link:

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html

You know it is important to break the isolation, learn new tools to live by, and connect with others traveling this road.
Please keep posting come here often we have a chat room open 24 /7 and on line meetings

PLEASE KEEP COMING BACK

Crossroad · Newbie

Thank you! I am going to try to make it to a meeting tonight. I am not quite at the manipulate the situation stage. I am keeping myself a safe, yet connected. I have been there in the past and know that I can get all consumed by the situation to a paralyzing point. I am trying to get ahold of myself before I go back to that. I was married to a man that decided to give crack a try and lost him to the addiction. Messy divorce. But I got away and remained in the good graces of family. That was devastating for me. Why does a man in his 50's just decide to do that one day. One of my son's passed away in his sleep almost 2 years ago. Meth, alcohol, pain meds and cough syrup. Another son just fell off the wagon. Drug of choice, alcohol. He was clean for almost a year. And when he drinks, he doesn't stop till he passes out. This was 2 days ago. I have no idea where he is right now. My hope is that he is passed out at home. His phone is off. He called me at midnight last night. Said he was ok and going home. I have spoken to his sponsor, who is wonderful! He is going to try to encourage him to go to a meeting tonight. He was doing amazing for so long. All who love him know of his strength. And all are doing what they can to encourage him. As for me, I fear I may lose another son and I just can't bear that thought, yet I can't stop thinking that it is a real possibility. Pain and FEAR is where I am know. I am afraid that fear is going to get the best of me.

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Dear Crossroad

I hear you and do really understand. I too lost my only child 3 years ago , in his sleep to this dreadful disease.

Please know that Meetings, Prayer, Letting Go and Letting God helped me to just move thru the day.

The serenity prayer repeated almost continually begged God for courage, serenity and wisdom I do know that my HP heard those pleads and I was able to withstand the terrible loss.

I know that HP saw both of our beautiful sons struggle and took them home.

It is not easy and I will keep you in my prayers.

-- Edited by hotrod on Monday 14th of March 2011 03:34:41 PM

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

I so feel your pain. You have been thru and are going thru more than anyone could take!

If it were me, which for other reasons it was, I called a dear friend, went to my doctor for help.

Then my friend made sure I was ok. I needed love to get me to heal from my pain.

Do you have a sponsor for you? Do you have loving friends and/or family you can go to? Even if just to be in their company?

I can tell you the mip family welcomes you and will be there for you. There are people here who have suffered the same losses you are experiencing. I have not lost a child but about everything else. I don't know what I would do without some love in my life.

If you can what always helps me, even if it is the tiniest bit, is taking care of the basics so I feel as well as I can. Good water, good food, sleep, naps. For me a constant connection with HP is the main help.

Keep warm, clean cloths, clean body. I would do whatever I could that felt good.
Don't be afraid to ask for help. I had to really push me to do that.

Hope to see you here more. love,debilyn

pinkchip · ~*Service Worker*~

FEAR = False evidence appearing real. Hotrod already has stated the very worst scenario occurring and she survived to share her experience strength and hope. Not saying at all that this will happen to your son, but there is so much power in the fellowship of a 12 step program. If you stay in the middle of your support network and meetings...you can walk through all fears and come out better off.

nmike · ~*Service Worker*~

(((((crossroad)))))

As your names implies, you seem to be at a crossroads. Welcome to MIP! You will find experience, strength, and hope. You are not alone. I can not say that I have had your experiences and know what you are going through. I do not. I do know that the disease of alcoholism and addiction is powerful, cunning, and baffling. It is also becoming crystal clear to me that it is a family disease. Keep coming back to help yourself.

In support,
Nancy

Crossroad · Newbie

Thank you all for your posts! You are all very kind! I went to a meeting last night and found it to be helpful. A good group of people. I got myself to work today, got through the day. No word from my son. I really am struggling with the thought that I might lose him as I lost his brother. Fear is just paralyzing. I just want to hear from him, hear his voice, even if it is that drunken slur that he has when he is drinking. My hope is that he is just secluding himself away and drying out. When not drinking, he is one of my closest friends. We talk on the phone almost everyother day or text eachother. The last 10 months, while he was sober was such a joy. I pray we both have that again! Once again, Thank you! I wish all of you and your families peace and love!

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.