The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I was convinced that I had to take care of everything and everyone----I had no choice. But with the help of alanon, I have learned that, while I do have responsibilities, there are also many things I do not have to do:
I dont have to understand everything. Somethigns are not my business, and others will simply never make sense to me.
I dont have to be reluctant to show my feelings. When I am happy, I can give in to it! When I am not, I can turn to my Alanon friends who help me grow through the tough times.
I dont have to feel threatened by the future. I can take life one day at a time.
I dont have to feel guilty about the past. With the help of the steps, especially 8&9, I can make amends and learn from the mistakes I have made.
I dont have to feel alone. I can go to a meeting, or pick up the phone----there is always somebody to reach out to in Alanon.
I dont have to take resposibility for other peoples choices. They have their own HP to help them make their decisions.
I dont have to give up on my hopes and dreams---- my HP is not limited by my lack of imagination.
I will close in saying this,,remember to take care of yourselves, and always remember you have choices.,,,Hope this helped some of you,,,,,,,,
Three things come back to my memory, on this subject, as I also thought I needed to save everyone and everything....
1. My sponsor told me I was using this as a method of 'control', in that I wanted to influence the outcome of people, and Al-Anon meetings, etc., so I could control the outcomes.... I had never seen it that way, and learned to shut up and listen...
2. This is where I think the "powerlessness" of step one is actually freeing, as opposed to being a weakness.... I felt like a huge weight was lifted off my back, when I finally accepted the fact that I did NOT have to 'fix' anybody (nor could I).
3. I was talking with my A's counselor one time, at a Treatment Center, and told him all the things I had to do at home, cuz "I was the only sane one". He didn't bat an eye, and asked me "what makes you think you were sane?"
All good stuff, and important parts of my own recovery.... Thanks again!
Tom
__________________
"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
