"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"

searching4peace · Veteran Member

Harm Reduction?

Rhivenn · Member

I found this when I googled: http://www.andrewtatarsky.com/faq.html & http://www.peele.net/lib/smart.html

My Abf would say that AA doesn't corner the market on recovery, but that it is the most tried & true method to gain sobriety. At first glance, this HRT seems to be a way to tell A's that they can still use in moderation, but I may be reading it wrong.

My 2 cents would be that you have to let your husband work his own recovery, whichever recovery method that may involve, and concentrate on your own recovery.

Blessings!!

ythannah · Senior Member

I have no experience with harm reduction in alcohol treatment, only with regard to drug addiction.

My understanding is that it is employed with users who aren't yet contemplating recovery, to minimize the physical damage. For example, a needle exchange program is a harm reduction strategy for IV drug users as it reduces the sharing of needles and therefore decreases the chances of spreading blood-borne infections like Hep C and HIV.

searching4peace · Veteran Member

Yup, need to get back on my side of the street. So hard to find the place where I am supportive but not controlling.

I went to the orientation program at the out patient place my husband is going to. And I signed up for the support group for family members of addicts that are in treatment there. I was mainly looking for a way to educate myself and find some more support for me and also a way to be informed and supportive for my AH. I didn't understand what they were referring too when they kept talking about how they are a 'harm reduction' based center. I had to google it and I was stunned. I had no idea such a concept or approach even existed. It explains a lot about what his counselor has been telling us. And it helps me to understand what he is saying more when he refers to things he is learning there.

So I guess in one aspect this is a good thing. I know more than I did a few days ago. On the other hand, I personally feel that this is a crock. And I am so upset I'm sick. Literally sick. Pounding head and rolling stomach sick.

I was making the mistake of thinking that we were on our way off the merry go round. That AH was finally taking the first steps to dealing with his addiction. That if I could hold on for just a little longer relief was around the bend. And when I realized what he is actually doing I felt like I'd been kicked in the gut by a horse. Like the rug was yanked right out from underneath me. All I could think was, 'Are you kidding me?!? Are you Effing kidding me?!? All this misery and suffering for the last few weeks for nothing. Nothing is changing. Nothing!' And that's when it hit me. I'm still giving him power over my peace and happiness. Still believing that his sobriety is the key to my contentment. Whoops. Missed the mark again.

So something more to be grateful for. Not just a new bit of knowledge on how some outpatient programs are run. But a new bit of knowledge about myself and my inner workings. And it lead me to a much more honest and open view of myself and my marriage.

Mattie · ~*Service Worker*~

From what I've read, the philosophy of "harm reduction" is that since most problem drinkers are not going to stop drinking (the statistics are that somewhere in the vicinity of 5%-20% are successful), rather than aim at the small percentage who can stop altogether, they'll try to minimize the harm caused by and to the ones who won't stop at all.

It's true that the AA approach doesn't really do anything for the 80%-95% who continue to drink. So a program aimed at those could be helpful. However, it doesn't hold out the promise that we partners & families of drinkers long for. (Keeping in mind however much we long for that mythical time when they stop drinking, no program can guarantee it.) Once more we're back at "They're going to do what they're going to do; what are we going to do?"

canadianguy · ~*Service Worker*~

Ugh.... I absolutely hate hearing about programs like this one, and absolutely disagree that these kind of programs can be any kind of help..... In my opinion, all these do is give drinking alcoholics (yet another) excuse not to abstain, and to prolong their time to find true recovery..... Eww, ick....

Tom

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

I had never heard of this so have been researching.

All I can say is,"are they out of their minds???" lol All I got was another away to con sick people to make money off their pain.

None of it made any sense to me at all. If a person is physically addicted, they are an addict period. For alcoholics, alcohol is poison to them!They cannot change their dna!

When addicts do other drugs they actually change the body!

I don't care what they say, when addicts use, it changes their behavior, most times for the bad. To say we can work on this this and this, you can still use, is insane.

This is my opinion anyway. My experience. GREAT question! love,deb

pinkchip · ~*Service Worker*~

What I have heard in AA repeatedly...over and over and over is that AA has a 100 percent success rate for those who WANT to stop drinking and who are WILLING to go to any lengths.

I also think the failure rates quoted include peoples attempts at getting sober...meaning that most people have several attempts prior to getting any lasting sobriety time. This would drive down the success ratios numbers because it is measuring success based on the amount of times tried to get sober and relapsed versus the individual. Frankly, I don't know where the statistics come from because nobody in AA would participate in such a study as it would be considered "an outside issue."

I agree with Tom about this "harm reduction stuff." It's a cop out for folks that think they are too unique for AA, have not been willing to do the work, don't want to take an honest look at themselves, and who want a softer and easier way. Also, I think this is funded by the medical community because AA interventions are not as easy to bill due to lack of scientific grounding. You can write a progress note as a therapist and bill it when you are teaching "coping skills" whereas you cannot bill insurance when you are "working the steps."

Searching4peace: Your boundaries and expectations are yours. I applaud you in realizing your happiness does not have to depend on his recovery. Whether or not your marriage depends on it is a boundary that only you can set. In essense, I don't think you are wrong at all to have the hopes that you do about him getting sober. I think all of us would really want that for our loved ones. Regardless, you have to plan the happiest and most fulfilled life you can and make the choices that best suit your own life regardless of his addiction.....that way you are empowered and more detached from things you cannot control. I just didn't want you beating up on yourself for your feelings.

Mark

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"