new here and I am venting....sorry - Al-Anon Family Group

hazeleyed · Newbie

new here and I am venting....sorry

RLC · ~*Service Worker*~

Hazeleyed,

Welcome to MIP. There are lots of good books and I'm sure others will recommend some for you.

Your a perfect fit for the Al-Anon program. How do I know that? Because like all the members of Al-Anon you have been effected by someone else's drinking. Books are good but face 2 face Al-Anon meetings in my opinion trump all the books I have read. Nothing can replace being in the rooms of Al-Anon with other members who are walking in your shoes and understand you as perhaps no one else can. The feeling that comes by not being alone anymore in this disease is something that can't be put into words.

Find a meeting in your area and give the program a try. Make the program a priority in your life. You won't regret it and you deserve it.

HUGS
RLC

-- Edited by RLC on Wednesday 9th of March 2011 01:02:12 AM

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome Hazel. This place can be a very important part of your recovery. It's honestly a blessing that the owner put this site up for all of us.

Al Anon would teach you so many skills to feel more comfortable in your situation. You are working so hard on your own program! I am impressed!

Theres so much to learn. "Getting Them Sober" by toby rice drews is the book I always rec. It touched me so much. I am sure others will have suggestions too.

We learn in Al Anon to take care of our own lives, take the focus off the A and their disease. We can do nothing to stop them from using, its totally up to them. We call it the 3 C's. We didn't cause it, we cannot control it, we cannot cure it.

When we make ultimatums, threats etc. It makes it so much worse.

Believe me the A knows what the disease is doing to them.

When we work on us all that good energy builds us up. We learn to not allow the A's disease tear us down and suck us dry anymore.

" Courage to Change" One Dat at a Time are two more books.

I encourage you to find a face to face meeting in your area. They will welcome you and honestly be glad you are there. At the bottom of my post are two ways to find a meeting near you.

You can get books at the meetings, from this site, or Amazon.

NEVER apologise! We are here to listen, support and guide you! You help us also by being part of MIP!
Keep coming!!!! love,debilyn

GailMichelle · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome to MIP!

First, there is absolutely no need to be apoligize for venting. At one time or another, most of us who particpate on this message board vent. I've done my share and in return gotten a lot of support. So, vent if you feel the need.

Second, I am not familiar with the book your counselor suggested. However, I have read "Getting Them Sober" by Tomy Rice Drews numerous times. It is an easy read. The book is around $10. At amazon. com, you might be able to get a used copy of it. I have often purchased used copies of books from that site and have never been dissatisfied.

Third, as RLC has suggested, you will likely benefit from face-to-face Al-Anon meetings. I have gone the individual counseling route for many years and it has helped immensely. However, if I had to do it all over again, I would do it in conjunction with f2f meetings. I have recently realized (okay, admitted to myself) that I need to be around people who deeply understand what I have gone through and continue to go through.

So, please give Al-Anon meetings serious consideration. Also, come to this board as often as needed. I have only seen unconditional support from the members. Let it all out - the good & the ugly thoughts. You will not be put down. We understand.

Gail

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

Aloha Hazeleyed and welcome to MIP. The prior suggestions and comments
are right on...not everyone here is a member of Al-Anon or go to face to face
meetings however for myself, like others, I have found that was what worked
for me and ended up saving my life. There are many many books available
regarding alcoholism. I've got a library of them and am currently rereading
"Paths to Recovery" and "Al-Anon Faces Alcoholism" along with our daily
readers and a very special book "As We Understood" which came out of a
World Conference in Canada. That one is full of ESH from the membership;
their stories. So take your pick and call the hotline number for Al-Anon in
the white pages of your telephone book and get the meeting places and times
where and when we get together and share our recovery and love.

Almost everything that comes from the alcoholic regarding their drinking will be
protective denial. They will not wish to do anything to disturb the addiction so don't
expect him to say out loud what he already knows, "My drinking is really bothering
her. It's a problem."

Stick around with us and help us recover. Keep coming back and yes Hazeleyed
people are cool...I'm in that club too...LOL (((((hugs))))) smile

ythannah · Senior Member

Hello and welcome, hazeleyed! smile

I am also ACoA, and have been in a relationship with a recovering alcoholic for about 2.5 years. I've been in Al-Anon for a little over a year. I'm in a fairly small city, so we don't have specialized ACoA meetings, but I find that Al-Anon is a good fit for me.

The late Janet G. Woititz is one of the pioneers and leading authorities on ACoA knowledge. Her earlier books were combined into one called "The ACoA Sourcebook" or something like that; I highly recommend it.

My introduction to the Al-Anon program was the "How Al-Anon Works" book, it's a good overall explanation.

And there is lots of wisdom to be gained just from reading around these boards!

hazeleyed · Newbie

WOW!!!

Thank U ALL biggrin

sooooo much for your responses, referances and support!
I feel the Love here!!!

I wrote down all the books u all referred me to and will be buying some of them.

I also got a list of local al-anon meetings and will be going either thursay, friday or sunday this week and will be trying different ones out to see which one i am comfortable with. My ACA meeting is wednesday nites so that night is locked in.

Thank you all again! I am hopeful now that I can get through this rather than end the relationship and walk away. smile

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.