The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Just a quick update. I am still finding I have to make a conscious effort every day to keep turning A bf over to HP. I have to remind myself not to obsess over his detox and his progress with his own sobriety. I am trying to remain supportive, but not ask him if he went to a meeting or had a drink or is struggling with it as I have no control over what he chooses to do.
I am hoping this gets easier. I am keeping my focus on me and my children. Working my own steps, praying for my own recovery and asking HP to take care of bf.
You are doing great. I have been in alanon for over 25 years and each morning I still read my daily reader, and then go to a reading on 3rd stp reading as well
I then feel that am focused in program and ready to meet the day . It is now habit and part of my day just like eating, exercise and talking
As RLC says practice, pratice practice. You are working it
It is a tricky business. Taking interest in his recovery and supporting it is not a bad thing. For example....if you know he went to a meeting "How was the meeting?" would be positive and supportive. Also if he talks about stuff he is learning in recovery...showing interest in it is supportive too. If he is really working it, he will tell you how it's going and things he is learning. AA is intense and for it to work, he will have to be immersed fully. Don't worry about bringing it up cuz if he is really doing it right, he will want to talk about it. It will become his way of life and you will know it.
Hi, Taking an interest in his recovery is okay, but also be ready for the opposite reply. My hubby told me he will not talk to me about it....ever. I tried to be positive and supportive and he would not respond. Finally he got mad and said he valued anonymity and said he would not respond to me in any way about his meetings. So I backed off and have stayed there. His program is something we never talk about. His friends there, stay there. I have met his sponser and his wife.
So, you will have to take your cues from him. Get busy in your own life and it won't matter so much to you.
Well, he is very open about his recovery about cancer. He can't stop talking about it. But the alcoholism is so different. He goes to Gilda's Club and tells me all about the other patients that are there. Never even mentions if he is going to a meeting at the Alano Club. That's just him. As long as I stay busy in my life, it doesn't bother me. But..... I have a female friend in AlAnon that also goes to his Gilda's meetings. She told me she was feeling kind of sorry for him (because his wife wouldn't support him as much as he wanted in his cancer recovery) until she realized that he is the guy that she has heard me talking about at the AlAnon meetings. She told me because she wanted me to know that they had met..... We had a good laugh. But it hurts....
You are working it