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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> guilt
Post Info TOPIC: guilt
Tracy


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 987
Date:
guilt
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Hi Everyone,
My partner has been sober for 6 months 5 in rehab and rest in supported living.  I am tired I keep slipping into resntfulness that although he is sober life is still so difficult and hard.  He is in early recovery he is going to meetings most days and is doing good.  I just feel like I need time for me.  I am sick of understanding of pushing my wants needs aside.  I went to my meeting last night and when I came home he rang.  He said he loves me  but all he cam offer at the moment is see each other once a week and he will pop down in the week while I am at work and do some chores fpr me.  This is great he is doing everything he can.  BUt I am so unhappy its just not enough.  I hate myself for it I should be so plaese.  Its like I have run out of patience.  I told him I need space.  I told him all my life I have put others needs first and that I need to sort my own life.  When i got off the phone I felt relieved.  Then this morning I came on here I have read about alcolholism being a disease and the guilt hit.  I love him so much but he needs to focus on his recovery and I know I am hindering him.  I have so much on I go to al anon every week I know I need more meetings but really do not have the time.  I am trying but my programme seems to be slipping.

any esh xx

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Debilyn


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 3653
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Tracy I can tell you are torn. It sounds like you need to refuel. You know how the disease can suck us dry.

You honestly sound very wise. Its ok to need a break. Take care of you, build yourself back up. It won't hurt him to back off for awhile.

Its healthy for you to know what you need! Now feel proud of you for admitting it, and refuel. When you feel better, letting it go for awhile, you will be able to handle it all better.

Hey even when we are involved in being with a loved one who has cancer, or whatever disease, we can get wore out. We have to take care of ourselves or we are not good to anyone.

when I got so sick in Feb. I could not even see right. Could not talk, eat, drink, nothing. I fell apart. I still have a long ways to go but taking this time for me is helping a lot. Forgiving myself, being tender with me. We all need this.

Sending you lots of hugs,debilyn

__________________

Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
GailMichelle


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1230
Date:
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Tracy,

The guilt is caused by old belief systems.  Examine the guilt - look it in the eye - don't let it back you into a corner and surrender.  I understand the feelings of guilt.  I still deal with them, but not near as much because I examine the feeling - ask myself why I should feel guilty.

Turn him over to your HP and once again take care of you.  Easier said than done.  I know.  But just for today - stive to take care of you.

__________________

You have to go through the darkness to truly know the light.  Lama Surya Das

Resentment is like taking poison & waiting for the other person to die.  Malachy McCourt
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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> guilt