I have been away from my AH for 3 years now but he still effects me. It took a long to realize that nothing was going to change. I know I would make excuses of why my AH couldn't go and do things which for me it didn't seem right but I did it anyhow. Finally when there was nothing else I could do I had to leave for my own safety and sanity. I packed all my things and went back to the place I lived before I had moved in with him. There are still things that I really can't control like when he said he would send divorce papers and still hasn't. This has been ongoing since I left him in 2007. Of course there is more to the story then that but I just wanted to share here after reading so many different things by different people.

I do live with an ABF now but he has been sober for 26 months and has his own program he goes to and is happy in his sobriety. He is the one that suggested I just check out a meeting with Al-Anon. I think it was because he understood what I was going through or wanted to help me in some way through all the pain that I had been through.

I went to my first Al-Anon meeting on Wednesday night. One lady put a box of tissue in front of me saying "I have a feeling you might need these" I didn't , but I think that is because I didn't share what had happened in my life with my AH. I read out loud a bit but I didn't want to share for whatever reason I had in my head. I always knew there were people that were going through or had been through the same things or similar to my situation. I will attend my second meeting tonight thinking I might share some of my story in the meeting. I am grateful that I do have an Al-Anon program where I live this will be what is becoming a better part of my life. I am also thankful for this board it has helped me think about things I had put aside for a very long time.