The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This is my first time posting here, I've been following for a few days. I have almost 1.5 years of Al-anon recovery, but its slow going...
Life is a bit crazy at the moment, and I am battling anxiety problems using the program tools. We have many big issues at the moment although I know that my physical anxiety is a major over-reaction. Every morning I wake up to a haze of impending doom - I hate waking up. The program is keeping my head above water, even if it doesn't always feel that way...
One of the things that is plaguing me at the moment is something I did a couple of years back, before I got into recovery. Extreme co-dependent that I was/am, I agreed to do something for someone although I had extreme misgivings about it. At the time I kidded myself that it would help my qualifier get sober... Plus, I just didn't know how to say no. I feel like such an idiot, looking back, and I am so worried that I am going to get into trouble for it.
I'm throwing every program tool that I can think of at it, but I cannot still the fear in my belly. I've put the problem into my 'HP box' and I thought I'd try sharing it here. I'm still on step one, so I have no idea how to hand this over...
Has anyone here had a similar experience? If so, I'd love to hear about it.
Yep...I'm a past master at that and what helped me was following the suggestions of dealing with it with a sponsor...steps 5 thru 9. The magic is that when I did it as suggested and finished it the belly pain ceased. Belly pain for me means that is where my fear (real fear) lives. It drops from my head (worry) to my chest (anxiety) and if I don't take care of it, builds a nest in my stomach. People with conscience go thru with that all the time. So write it out...call your sponsor and or some other trusted servant and have it removed. Many people won't go thru the processs of healing and feeling better because of the pain of surgery...don't do that. (((hugs)))
We do not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. So...ask yourself, did you learn what you needed to learn? Sounds like you did. No regrets needed then. If you cannot change any future consequences...let it ride. Say the serenity prayer and really meditate on it. That is all I can think of that might be helpful. Hope it aids you in some way.
And yes...I think we all have things in our past that we know could creep up and bite us in the ass severely...The rest of the steps is where you will find a way to let go, to change for the better, while also being accepting of your past. It is a matter of faith in your HP. You keep putting the issue in the HP box....why take it back out?
