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Post Info TOPIC: deflecting projection


Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 92
Date:
deflecting projection


Hey everyone, it's been a little while, I'm humming along, trying to keep my head above water with bills, kids and choas.  Leaving the AH to his own devices and trying to mind my own business.

Against instinct, I asked him if he wanted to talk about the "elephant in the room", "the distance".  He asked what I meant and I said "you are way over there, and I am here just doing my thing".

Flood gates opened and I was attacked.  His perception is that I am monitoring his every move, am "always angry" when he tries to talk and he "just doesn't know what to do anymore because everything he does is wrong" etc. etc. etc.

I stayed calm despite the choice language I was getting and told him I would still like to talk if he is interested.  Asked if he has already checked out of the marriage and re-offered to go with him to counselling if he'd like.  I told him it's too bad he has to "make me the b_____ to get through this" 

I took my pillow and slept elsewhere so he could just be alone with his angry thoughts.  What's the expression?  I don't need to attend every fight I'm invited to?

I realized this morning after sleeping on it that really I've been alone now for awhile so there is no difference here except that it is out in the open...which is a good thing.  Hard but good.

This is out of my control.  God has a plan.  He always takes care of me. 

I will continue to wait on Him.

Thanks for reading.  I just needed to express this.




__________________

Kelly

"Go placidly amid the noise and haste and remember what peace there may be in silence...." Desiderata



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 17196
Date:

Hi New

Great thoughtful  post  and clear message.  The 3 As did jump to my mind

  Your Awareness is very clear , Your Acceptance very powerful and the Action that  you are taking:  taking care of your responsibilities  and trusting HP is how it really works

What an inspiration

Thank you

__________________
Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
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