The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
hey im 18 years old and live with a alcaholic perent . my mom has been in rehab twise . and she just relapsed today . i dont know wat to do she keeps on hidding it and i told my dad , now she makes as if im the bad person in the story .
CAN ANYONE PLZ TELL ME HOW TO COPE WITH A PERENT LIKE THIS ?
im in university and my grades are going down i feel deprest all the time and cry alot .. what can i do plz help.......................
Aloha Cillia...Welcome to MIP and yes you are in that tough spot most of us here have been in maybe not with a parent and with someone else addicted to alcohol and or drugs. You're in college...There must be a library there so see if you can get your hands on the book "Under the Influence" by Dr. James R. Milam and Katherine Ketcham. Read it, don't stop your other college work cause that is very important for you. Also in the white pages of your local telephone book is the hot line number for Al-Anon. Let me encourage you to call that number right away and find out where our face to face meetings are in your area and at what times. Also check with your college directory to see if there are any groups on campus. At 18 you are old enough for Al-Anon however if you prefer look to see if there are any Alateen groups you can attend where young adults like your self can trade ESH (Experience Strength and Hope) and work our program of recovery.
Your mom is under the grip of a life threatening and often fatal disease and if she doesn't arrest her drinking by total abstinence she will go more insane than she is now and may also die. This is a very very old disease which has over time gotten progressively worse. Notice how many people have come only to MIP looking for help and you are not alone.
Keep coming back here and reading and asking for help. (((((hugs)))))
Cillia, I can feel your anxiety and confusion. My mom is an alcoholic and my father would not acknowledge it. She blamed us (children) for causing the problem in the house and we were not allowed to discuss her drinking or irrational behavior.
After many years of Al-Anon and ACoA (Adult Children of Alcoholics) I learned to focus on myself and let myself off the hook for her happiness and wellness. I realized I was not, and am not, alone in what I experienced and survived.
I also encourage you to find a meeting near you where you can listen, learn, and share this junk. It is very helpful!
Take good care and keep communicating and sharing.
I know this is hard as I've been in your shoes. All I can tell you is you are so so lucky to have this resource available to you and others...I suffered through what you are going through (only with 2 alcoholic parents, one who was a cripple) completely by myself. Never talked about it with anyone until, well, really, now. And I'm 42. There is so much out there to help you, and I only wish I found it at your age. You're very fortunate. Keep asking questions, listen to what Jerry suggested and do it. You can feel better and be truly happy despite what is going on in your life.
