Al-Anon Family Group

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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> New here
Post Info TOPIC: New here
searching4peace


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New here
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And desperately needing so support and direction.

I collect alcoholics and addicts the way some people collect baseball cards.  Or so it seems.  I'll spare you the list.  It's extensive.

My husband is an alcoholic.  Trying to control his drinking I stumbled apon alanon years ago and made it to a few of the meetings.  Picked up some literature and started working the steps.  That's about as far as I got.  All hell broke loose and there were many family upheavals.  A move, 2 new babies, job changes and several other events all in the last 2 years.  I lost hold of my program and was swallowed whole by the chaos around me.

2 weeks ago my husband came home from work early and announced that he is quitting drinking and going to rehab.  What should have been the best news I have ever heard has completely torn me apart.  I am stunned by the pain and misery this has brough with it.  And on the advice of many people I dug out my alanon literature and started looking for meetings.

Problem is I have 5 children and I am not comfortable leaving them home alone with my husband in his current state.  Withdrawl makes him more of an a$$ than being drunk does.  Or at least as much of an a$$.  And there is no way that I can keep 5 kids quiet and still for an hour + during a meeting.  And they are all later in the evening at or past bed time.  So I am at a loss for the moment.  On of my friends directed me here.  And since I am desperately in need of something, anything at the moment, to help me get a grip on myself I decided to check it out.

There is so much more I want to say and ask.  But I don't feel any of it fits in an intro post.  So I'll get to all of it later.  I just wanted to introduce myself and thank you all in advance for giving me someplace to go.


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GailMichelle


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There is meetings online. I can't say more than that regarding the online meetings. However, I can say that there are many knowledgable people on this site that will offer you their experience, strength and hope (ESH).

I have gleaned a lot of wisdom from reading posts on this message board. I guarantee you will too if you keep returning to the board.

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You have to go through the darkness to truly know the light.  Lama Surya Das

Resentment is like taking poison & waiting for the other person to die.  Malachy McCourt
Debilyn


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Welcome to MIP. I relate to the difficulty of going to meetings face to face. At least for now, there are meetings here in the Chat room that are very good. Plus this message board is healing.

You could call the Al Anon line for someone to call ya back. Ask if there is a meeting group that has child care or if they have any ideas.

It's very dangerous for an addict to detox by themselves. Right now he is "white" knuckling to not use. If he is not going to AA he is not getting any support.

But that is up to him.

When I felt that pain, what ended up helping me was learning he is very sick. What ever he does or how he acts is not personal against anyone else. When I became more compassionate, and completely separated myself from his disease, I felt so much better.

It is his problem not mine. I didn't even want to talk about it with him. I would listen make short kind comments. But that was it.

I learned to love him and hate the disease that controlled him.

Have you read,Getting Them Sober, toby rice drews? That one helped me so much. Coming here and venting is a huge help. We learn skills how to live with an addict as best as we can.

Please feel free to share as much as you want and need to. That is what makes us come here. It is good for us too that you are here! We need you too.

You are not alone! love,debilyn



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
david62


~*Service Worker*~

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Welcome searching,

As the others have said there are live chatroom meetings here twice a day.  (the second link up in the yellow box at the top of this page).

Glad you are here. 

Keep coming back,
David

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Laughter is the Beginning of Healing
Jerry F


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Aloha Searching...You're home and you have to trust that...dump it all just outside the
front door and come in for  (((((hugs))))).  We know where you are at and where you
have been so you can listen to our stories to assure yourself that you're back in the
right place.  Al-Anon then and Al-Anon now is still the most powerful program I have
ever come across and it helped save my life.  I am glad you arrived here and am in
support.  I also lived in the chaos long enough that when my alcoholic/addict wife
first sought recovery I was thrown off completely.  I didn't know what to do with my own
pain and misery then.  I didn't now how sick I was.  I was so sick I told her that I didn't
think she was an alcoholic and that piece of good news to her sent her back out for
years and brought down whatever was still standing at the time.  I lost everything I
had at that point.  What happened as a result to the children was even more tragic.

When you can't depend on him find someone who you can depend on for a couple
hours with the children or use the MIP meeting room.    Keep coming back (((((hugs))))) smile

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Mattie


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Welcome, Searching, you are in the right place. 

Others will have lengthier things to say.  I just wanted to put in that many meetings have free childcare.  If you call your local Al-Anon number they will be able to tell you when and where they are.

Glad you have found us.  There is much wisdom on these boards.  Read all the threads and you'll find many people who have been in your shoes and have found their way to peace and serenity.  Please take care of yourself and keep coming back.

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abbyal


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As has already been said there are 2 meeting here daily 9am and pm . perhaps yu can find a f2f meeting durring the day while a couple of kids are in school if you call 1-888-4alanon they will give you a contact number for your area .  Welcome to MIP . Louise

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searching4peace


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Thank you all for the welcome.

I have called alanon and I have a list of all the local meetings. None have childcare, unfortunately. But I am hoping that I may be able to get away with just taking one or two littles with me if I can go on a night when I can get the car. It's not looking good for the next couple of weeks. But I'm hoping to be able to work something out soon. Mean while I may just have to get up early and try to get on a meeting here.

I tried this evening but I couldn't get it to work for me. So I am going to have to ask DH to help me figure it out. Not sure how he's going to feel about that. It may take a little courage on my part. But I am stumped. I can't get into the chat room at all. Our computer settings aren't working with it for some reason.

I will look for that book. I think I've seen it mentioned on here a few times. And I will continue reading and posting.

What have I got to loose?



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