The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
In 1995 my younger brother was arrested and sentenced to 22 years in prison. It took him 5 years in prison before he admitted he was an addicted and got help. Luckily he was released early after serving 13 years. He was also lucky in that when he was released, he didn't have to stay in the same state where he knew no one - they transfered his parole to the state where my parents and my sister and her family live. He had a place to live, support from his family, he got a job, and started going to college - he even made the Dean's List. We are all so proud of the progress he has made since getting out.
Recently, he would see people at his work having a beer or two when the day was done and after a while, he thought he would be OK doing that too, so he started drinking. At first it was just one or two - he figured nothing happened - he could handle it - he no longer had a problem. Unfortunately, that way of thinking never works out. He was caught drinking and driving, which is a violation of his parole and now the state where he served time may want him back for parole violation.
I'm the only family member in Al-Anon (almost 2 years). My Dad who has 26 years of sobriety, and is active in AA is looking to me for help with the program. He feels guilty, my mom is angry, and my older sister is frantic. No one wants to see him go back there and we're worried what something like this could do to him.
I understand that this is all his fault - he screwed up and has to face the consequences of his actions. I just can't help being mad at him for being so stupid. I know - it's the disease - I'm trying to be mad at the disease because I'm sure he's beating himself up more than anyone else right now.
This disease really sucks - thank you for letting me vent.
Us being the sober ones can easily see the error of their ways because we are sober and logical.
They have a disease as you know. So good that your Dad has 26 years of sobriety. Thats an accomplishment.
Unfortunatly your brother will go thru what he must before he will recognize and take the correct action toward his disease. Its great that he has your Dad as an example. Thats all we can do is live by example. We have no power over this disease...
Glad you came to vent, you know your in the right place. Keep doing Alanon and keep coming back.
Whatever his consequence might be, it won't be anything like 13 years in prison. It may be worth it to spare him further progressing into active alcoholism. Just a thought on the brighter side...if there is one.
Aloha Mom...glad you're still around. On my journey in recovery and while working as a therapist we use to show a video called "The Sleeping Tiger" which was about how the disease of alcoholism/addiction never really goes away. It can sleep for a while and then like a tiger will awake and stretch and extend it claws and start to stalk. This is about relapse. All kinds of good stuff can occur between stopping and then returning and the disease doesn't care. Sad along with you. (((hugs)))
