The material presented
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level.
hi all, my partner of nearly 12 years is (was) a drinker he has been sober 20 days today and is going to AA. we have been through it all before but im hopefull that this time it works as i love him to bits. the problem is me, i feel like i want to smash things up and screem and shout. i can be watching tv, be in the park or out shopping and this feeling of rage comes over me that i can just about control. i remember as a kid throwing myself on the floor and kicking, screaming and crying and i want to do that now. am i going mad??? all i want to do is sleep as i have no energy to do anything. im so fed up of feeling like this and worrie that one day i wont be able to stop the anger thats inside me, then what??? sorry if your reading this and think im some sort of mad woman i just wanted to know if putting my feelings into words would help.
Aloha dearest Mad Woman...It's normal...go tantrum and if you want some instruction on it; though you sound very well versed, let us know because there are some pretty good "Mad" members in this MIP forum. What you're going thru is normal now that he has 20 days and you're beginning to let go the top or cap of the bottle you have crammed all those old toxic feelings under is coming loose and is going to blow. Even the loss of energy is normal...relaxing the hold and feeling tired instead of hyper alert over and over. The man is taking care of business and you don't have to. Now you are facing you and if you handle it like I did many of my first random, spontaneous, behaviors were rooted in pissed off and rageful. I was angry and it all including me. That in part is what drove me into the Al-Anon Family Groups for spouses, family, friends, partners and associates of alcoholics and addicts who have become just as affected by the disease with the anesthesia of alcohol to block out reality...wheeew!
Go to a safe place and explode...don't hurt your self or others...just explode and when you're done...neaten yourself up a bit and go find the nearest Al-Anon meeting in your area and go directly to it. Glad you stopped in. MIP is family and you are not alone. Keep coming back. (((((hugs)))))
I'll start by saying welcome, glad you found us. Next I would like to tell you that you are not "some sort of mad woman", quite the contrary, your feeling are normal. The disease of alcoholism and it's effects causes us to think and do things no sane person would ever think or do. I understand perfectly Kerry, because I have been where you are. I know the sick feeling you get in your stomach, and the urge to pick up the closest thing you can get your hands on and throw it at "something?". Yes, the disease makes us sick also, and we need recovery just as much as the alcoholic needs recovery. Without help it is to much for most of us.
You are no different, as a matter of fact, you are the same as myself, you have been effected by someone else's drinking, and it has made your life unmanagable. If you agree, I would suggest you do what I did, along with millions of others world wide, get involved in the Al-Anon program. Check your local area for times and places. At face to face Al-Anon meetings I saw what the program had done for others whose life had also been effected by this disease. They seemed happy, content, laughing, smiling......I didn't understand at the time, but I did know I wanted what they had. I decided I would try the program, accept the program, and work the program to the best of my ability. What did I have to lose? I was already crazy and insane from the effect of the disease over the past several years. I didn't have anywhere to go but up, because I was already at my bottom. I am happy to say the program worked and still works for me 4 1/2 years later. The program changed my life and it can do the same for yours.
Keep coming back, you need and deserve recovery and you made a big step in that direction today.
You are not alone anymore because we understand you as perhaps no one esle can, we are walking or have walked in your shoes, and you are not alone anymore.
My Alcoholic fiance has had about 50 days. I dont think your a mad woman. I have been angry and depressed a lot during these past 50 days. Everything could be fine that day and I would still be upset.
Alanon meetings help. I attend at least two a week. I am shy so its tough for me to share but I listen and it helps. I also read the literture. KEEP COMING BACK
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Take it one day at a time. If that is too much take it a minute at a time.
You sound perfectly normal to me , the alcoholic is sober on top of the world and were furious this should prove to you that you too need to recover from the effects of someone elses drinking . We prayed for sobriety for so long and when it finally arrives we cant enjoy it . Al-Anon will help you to come to terms with the anger , please find meetings for yourself you need support , your worth the effort and it will give you a different perspective on what is going on in your home the fog lifts and we can finally begin to enjoy sobriety . He has found his miracle now its time for you to find yours , find out who you were meant to be , happiness is just around the corner . I had so many expectations in sobriety they were killin me , in program I learned that some days all an alcoholic can do is not drink , early sobriety is tough for everyone . take care of you leave him to AA and let Al-Anon help you. Louise
You have been living in the chaos of someone's addiction for a long time. You expect chaos, you expect to get mad over stuff. Just cuz he is sober doesn't mean you will feel all peachy. This is not what you are used to. I hope you find good face to face support in Alanon.
hi all, thanks for the replys. im so greatfull to you all. my partner is not well, he has liver problems that he has not sorted for years and at the moment he is waiting for blood test results and im worried sick that he will have to go back to hospital. im so scared of loseing him. he has lost so much weight and looks so ill. i watch him all the time, ask him about 20 times a day if he is ok and i panic every time he goes out incase anything happens to him. i have been thinking about going to al anon and my partner thinks it would do me the world of good. but i just don't know if i could walk into the room yet. im going to the doctors today as i think i need some help dealing with all of this, and i hope they can offer some advice to a woman on the edge. (just hope they don't lock me in a padded room) thanks again for the replys. im glad i came here. hope your all doing ok x
You sound perfectly normal to me , the alcoholic is sober on top of the world and were furious this should prove to you that you too need to recover from the effects of someone elses drinking . We prayed for sobriety for so long and when it finally arrives we cant enjoy it . Al-Anon will help you to come to terms with the anger , please find meetings for yourself you need support , your worth the effort and it will give you a different perspective on what is going on in your home the fog lifts and we can finally begin to enjoy sobriety . He has found his miracle now its time for you to find yours , find out who you were meant to be , happiness is just around the corner . I had so many expectations in sobriety they were killin me , in program I learned that some days all an alcoholic can do is not drink , early sobriety is tough for everyone . take care of you leave him to AA and let Al-Anon help you. Louise