Question? - Al-Anon Family Group

roxygirl · Member

Question?

stephaniej · Senior Member

Well, I can't speak for anyone but myself, but I am an addict too. I became addicted to the drama, to being needed, to trying to control everything and everyone around me (including my husband's drinking and other behaviors). Working a 12-step program is helping me to move beyond that behavior. I am learning to turn the things I can't control over to my higher power, and to focus on the only things I CAN control; my own behavior, and my reactions to other peoples' behavior.

My AH is sick. But I am sick, too. I am on a path to emotional and spiritual wellness that will last my entire life, and there will be victories and setbacks. But Al Anon, and a 12-step program, are helping me immensely.

ythannah · Senior Member

One of the principles of Al-Anon is that we are affected by the alcoholism/addiction of others by becoming just as sick (or sicker!) than they are, in our own way. If you live with that level of insanity, day in day out, you can't escape unscathed.

That was pretty easy for me to accept, as I already knew a lot of my thinking had been warped and twisted by growing up in an alcoholic home. Leaving my parents' home didn't "cure" me; my dysfunctional thought patterns were firmly entrenched by then.

We work the 12 steps ourselves as part of our own recovery from the effects of alcoholism.

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Well said Stephanie

I agree, we who live or have lived the problem of alcoholism are affected by the disease. We become lonely and frustrated, we take on all the negative attitudes of this disease in an effort to control it

Lois, the wife of Bill W , the founder of AA discovered her need for recovery after he became sober. She, with the helpof other wives developed the alaon family groups and I am so glad she did

The tools have enriched all aspects of my life

Jennifer · ~*Service Worker*~

I became involved in AlAnon and the 12 steps because during my exah's many attempts at sobriety I was still not happy. My focus was on how he was and how he was living his life. Alcohol had affected my thinking and I had changed into a different person. I had no idea how to get back to being me until I started following in other's footsteps through the program.

Jen

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

HI Roxy, nothing is a dumb question.

A 12 step program can work in so many situations. Even if it was you are miserable at work from someones behavior.

Overeaters Anon uses the 12 steps. For me the slogans, 12 steps, serenity prayer etc made my life so much better.

Taught me to look at things and think ok I cannot control that so I leave it alone. Or I look at myself and what part am I playing in an obstacle.

Even if we don't have an A in our life, or never have, the skills we learn can make our lives so much richer and easier.

Right now I am going thru a tough time. My life was too big for me, I had a breakdown. The slogans come to my mind, the taking care of me does too. I very rarely worry, take things as they come. I honestly take one day at a time.

I learned I am powerless over some things. I don't feel I have to control everything.

My son is sortof bi polar. It really helps me when dealing with him.

I know I will use these skills all my life.

good question. love,deb

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

Aloha Roxy and great question. For me the shortest most truthful response is that
I work or live by the steps because they worked at restoring my mental, emotional,
spiritual and physical health in the past and continue to do so today. The 12 steps
have given me an alternative to how I use to live and the negative consequence of
my choices which I habitually chose and again habitually received sick, negative
consequences. The only thinking I have to do today is in making the choice to live
the program...the steps, slogans, traditions, principles. Good question.

((((hugs)))) smile

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.