The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi my sober ABf is in Aa a newcomer asked if he would get me to ring his wife as she was going to attend her first meeting and was a bit nervous. I rang and we had a little chat she is going to a meeting tonight, I said its not my regular meeting but would meet her there if it would help. they say in al anon let it begin with me I will support her to night but then leave her to make own way. I get a little worried sometimes as I am co- dependent I can sometimes focus on others and their problems. Just the fact that I am writing this and m aware Iam only supporting as much as I can shows how much I have come on before al anon I would have most probably made her my new project. is it o.k for my ABf to give my number to members partner or family memeber who are interested in attending meetings?
Aloha Tracy - that's a good question to pose to yourself, because really only you can answer that because you know how much and what you can handle.
I'd have to ask myself what my boundaries might be where that situation is concerned.
I just know on the level of a sponsorship role, I have to remind myself that I am not responsible for other people. I can only be responsible for myself. All I can do with others is try to stick with sharing my experience, strength and hope in a situation that's presented to me - I try really hard to stay clear of giving specific advice.
It's very kind of you to let yourself be a point of contact for those spouses. Just remember you can't work their recovery for them. The best thing for any of us to do is to get to the recommended six face-to-face meetings before deciding if the program is for us or not. I have to remember that us family members of A's are equally sick people and just as I would let an A know who's asking for help that there are AA meetings available, I'd do the same for an Al-Anon, letting them know there are Al-Anon meetings available if they really want some help.
Tracy... I think it is wonderful of you to share & lend a hand with the Al-Anon newcomer..... So many of us, when we were starting out, could have certainly used a help to get to our first meeting....
As for whether or not your bf 'should' "is it o.k for my ABf to give my number to members partner or family memeber who are interested in attending meetings?"
I would say that "with your permission" it is entirely okay....
Take care Tom
__________________
"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
way to pay back tracy , I often go to meetings I dont normally attend myself , Let it begin with me .. well done . I do what was done for me . I owe this program my life and can give a little back when a newcommer calls and needs help . co dependent no .
"Let it begin with me...of course" Just remember the difference twix helping and enabling and that little "motive" thingy. I'd like to hear the journey. (((hugs)))
Hi the new comer attended the meeting last night with her two grown up daughters. I met her outside and took them in made them feel welcome. seemed to really enjoy the meeting the mother is going to attend another on Thursday she has my number if needs any other info now her journey is up to her. When I shared I just shared from the heart what al anon has given me handing the rest over to HP. thanks for all your ESH I just get frightened sometimes that my own sickness may progress but as long as taking my al anon medicine I know it is being arrested.
