The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I've been working in a dysfunctional, chaotic, completely unfair environment for 18 months. My contract is up in 5 months.
For those 18 months I've spent a lot of time resenting, cataloguing the problems which are numerous and daily. With 5 months to go on the contract I've switched my energy to looking for another job that pays better, is less dysfunctional and where I am not facing obstacles at every turn.
I think I find it very very hard to let go and switch my energy when I'm in resentment mode. There is no way the environment is going to change. I've made some boundaries which work for me but overall it is a very toxic and frustrating place to work.
The issue for me is like making a plan be, I only switch my energies when my back is completely up against the wall. I'm not able to do it before then. I sit and stew and martyr myself in resentment and feel totally responsible for messes that I have absolutely nothing to do with. Rescuing, martyring and resenting are my fall back patterns.
Maresie.
-- Edited by maresie on Friday 18th of February 2011 03:11:58 PM
Work Karma is a bitch!!! Its the hardest to change. I use to do contract work with Insurance Co., I was an adjuster for over 30 years.
I decided to do contract work as I liked going to different companies, as I liked the change, and for many years stayed with companies on a permanent basis. It was always management that I had a problem with. You know the Corp. world has a lot of ruthless people that want to hang on to their only job . So I thought if I moved around a lot, I would never get stuck for long., But you know the saying, wherever you go, you bring yourself.
Being a Buddhist, Im very much into my environment and how I affect it and we do affect it. Ive always been taught that we shouldnt be swayed by the environment no matter whats going on, so hard to do in the work environment with so many personalities and so much negativity. But, I do know when we do not let it affect us and we stand tall like a tree with its roots planted deeply in the ground and we dont bend to the winds of adversity, we win.
Keep up your good work, keep smiling no matter what...
i hear a 4th,5th and 6th Step in your honest share. Now all you need to do is move to Step 7 and ask HP to remove whatever shortcoming is blocking you from letting go.
