The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well as I posted before. I wrote my AH a letter and did give it to him. It went surprisely well. He was not angry, but did appear a little worried. We talked for a while I stood to my guns and am expecting him to join AA or some other support group and begin the process. I do understand that he can't do this for me and I am completely aware that he may relaspe, but I made it very clear what I expect from him and I what am going to do if he picks up the bottle one more time.
I feel so mean, but I have begun to take the steps of protecting myself in the case of us having to seperate such as getting my own checking account and getting legal advice. I am hoping that it doesn't come to that, but if it does I want it to be as smooth as possible.
I have also told him of Al anon and invited him to meetings. I figure if he is willing to do this it may make it easier if he does it with someone who loves him and wants to support him and see him succeed.
I hope for once this has a fairly tale ending, goodness knows we have been here before.
I think you know that no amount of forcing the drinker to enter AA will make him stop unless he wants too. Im of the belief though that even if they enter AA against their will, its not going to harm them and they even may pick up something that will stick in their brain or heart. In other words it wont kill him.
The alcoholic already knows we love them, thats not the problem, if only love could stop an alcoholic. I think its more productive for you to go to an AA meeting, then the alcoholic coming to an Alanon meeting. Just my opinion. An open AA meeting is a real eye opener.
To get a fairy tale ending is possible, but it doesnt happen overnite, it takes a lot of work. I use to think, if my xah would just enter AA then my problems would be over. I always looked at the situation only in accord with me and what I wanted for my life to work. You have two human beings here, totally different in their wants and needs. An Alcoholics need is how to get the next drink. Our need is to stop them , thinking if they would just stop, my life would be great and everything would be normal. I never saw a fairytale with an Alcoholic in it. It definitely would change the dynamics.
One must know that to be married or involved with the alcoholic is a lifetime of having a program for both Alcoholic and spouse. There are NO quick fixes. Addiction is a serious affliction that is like a load of cargo on the back of every addict. Most addicts will give up everything and anybody that gets in there way. If not right away, if the drinking continues, eventually ... You must know the path you choose. I urge you to focus on YOU. For we need to recover also.
