Al-Anon Family Group

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Post Info TOPIC: Trying To Crawl Out......


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 223
Date:
Trying To Crawl Out......


of the rabbit hole I have fell in.

I have been struggling for about 6 mos with unbearable FEAR, the type of fear that makes you sit straight up in bed at 2:00 A.M., the type that puts your stomach into a knot, I have lost about thirty pounds during the last four months because I have no desire to eat.  I just have lost heart, people are beginning to ask me if I am sick, I can't tell them how bizarre I feel in my head.

I have been to my doctor and she tried an anti depressant, but it sent me into a worse state of mind.  I do now have something to help me sleep.

I just come here and draw strength and wisdom from you all.  I don't know why I can't shake this, but for my youngest son's sake I am hanging in there as tough as I can. 

I just needed to write this out.

((((Hugs))))

Dreams



__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3653
Date:

Dreams, you have been so supportive of me, and all the while you are feeling crummy.

I went off one anti depressant, then tried two others. Finally got so bad I went back on effexor. Pristiq is apparently a tweaked effexor. There is nothing wrong with trying another. Depression is a real illness.

I am embarrassed, and ashamed of being in the pit. My doc and friend helped me so much. I am glad to have gone back on the effexor. I have xanax too if I need to sleep, or to rest till the med kicks in.

I am usually so strong,the caretaker. Got to where I just wanted to go live with my son.

I held on by a thread like you are doing. Its awful. We only have so much reserved to survive. I hope you will try a new med if your doc would like you to. Don't want you to get to the bottom like I have. My stamina is almost nil.

Everything can be ok in our world but we can still go into depression. It was hard but I reached out to my girl friend. My friends are used to me being ok. But this was the first time I let them know I am not.

I think I am heading the other direction, maybe it is just that I have hope.

Hon you need some hope. To be doing something to get better would feel positive to you.

Now I learned fear comes from not having faith. How are you spiritually? We all need to be fed   spiritually. Being depressed makes it worse.

Depression just means our "happy" chemicals are not happening. Anti depressants hopefully get them going again. Though with me, I need to stay on anti depressants. I don't want to. Was HARD to kick the effexor. But feeling as you do, I don't care, I gotta get back to me again.

I call it a pit.

I do want to go to counseling too. Have you considered that? For me, I believe I have lots of grief work to do.

dang cat is "sneaking" to lay on my key board. She walks realll slow as if I don't see her. Big fluffy ginger girl, WinaPurr. winnie. I kept her and my big fluffy siamesey guy, curt.

Anyway I am taking naps. going super ez on me. Yes it is hard to eat. Youghurt is good as it will put some good bacteria in you. If you eat meat, chicken soup, broth, or just chicken has triptophan spell in it that will help you.

Warm tea is good too. I sometimes just have health nut bread toast with chamomile tea. Chamomile is a good one to calm you. Sometimes I lay in bed and wish I had someone to make it and bring it to me.

Sandi wanted me to go into the hospital. But I can drink water so I am not dehydrated. Plus am doing nothing.

Anyway I appreciate you sweetheart. Please take care of you, ask for help if you need to. The world is a tough, horrible place. Sometimes it all gets to us.

If you want to pm me and tell me what you are thinking, meaning where is the fear coming from, please do. I would love to pm with you. love love, debilyn

__________________

Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 2677
Date:

Keep crawling. Follow the light. Take your HP with you.

In support,
Nancy

__________________


Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 91
Date:

Please ask your doctor about adreanal burnout. It happens to many women who are under extreme stress. You can google it. I know when mine was burning out I was having panic attacks and waking up in the middle of the night, racing heart, overwhelming fear.

I lost 20 pounds in 7 days. I couldn't eat or sleep and the anti-depressants did nothing for me except make the panic attacks worse.

It's a real issue and the symptoms are treatable. Also, have the Dr check your thyroid leves as those go wacky when your adreanal gland gets whacky.


((((((((((((((((feel better))))))))))))))))

__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1235
Date:

I sooooo relate to falling in a hole. It was a good place for me to surrender. It looks like you are feeling your powerlessness and your life certainly looks unmanageable, exactly as mine did. I had no choice but to surrender and to begin practicing something different. I was completely willing at that point. It was that, or die in that dark hole.

I didn't see any mention of working the steps here, so that is my first suggestion. There is a reason we work them... they really do work. The steps changed me. They finally gave me guidance I never had before. That is the program of al-anon, a spiritual journey.

nmike suggested taking HP with you.... HP is the solution. The steps show me how to get to that spiritual awakening, one step at a time. We kinda, sorta fell into that hole one day at a time, and that's exactly how we're going to get out.

When I was full of fear, I was told to pray. Faith is the opposite of fear. With complete sincerity, I prayed, "God please help me." Sometimes I would add, "....... and I mean it!!!!!" Our part is seeking. We have to ASK. I have never doubted that HP brought me to the doors of al-anon, then it was up to me to take the suggestions. No one can do this for me. I can go to meetings... but even that is not working the program. I have to work the steps.

By all means, check with your doctor for endocrine problems such as adrenal exhaustion, I was diagnosed with it. It was a physical consequence of my workoholism, wanting to escape from the reality of what was happening in my home. I can't change that, but I've forgiven myself... I'm not angry with myself anymore... which they say is what depression is, anger turned inward.

I hope you find meetings in your area to build up your fellowship network, I love mine. Avoid isolation, the disease loves to get us alone and fill us with negative and despairing thoughts. Keep reaching out (((Dream)))






__________________

The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 13696
Date:





.....oh and get into the face to face meeting rooms of Al-Anon.  You're not alone and
there's a chair waiting for you.   (((((hugs))))) smile

__________________
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.