The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I found a meeting in my area but I won't be able to go until next week. I'm a little nervous because I don't know what to expect but I know I really need to go. I read some of the FAQs on the website and read the 12 steps and some of the meeting materials. I am a little confused though. A lot of the stuff I read seems to pertain to those who are still living with the alcoholic/addict. Is there support for those who have chosen to leave and are still being affected? Also is there support for those who are coping with an addicted loved one (in my case my Mom) who won't admit they have a problem? Like will they give me skills on how to deal with her because I have to deal with her (but a lot of times I really just don't want to). Thanks!
I live by myself and still attend Al-Anon because, like it or not, I was still affected by someone's alcoholism (or several someones, actually). There are a lot of residual emotions, feelings, coping skills, etc. that I developed while living with the disease that really only seem to improve when I regularly attend Al-Anon meetings, keep in touch with my sponsor, read Al-Anon literature and otherwise strive to live a spiritual life.
I'm excited you're going to make it to a meeting. ;)
If you have ever lived with or loved an alcoholic you will find the answers your looking for in Al-Anon meetings , some are divorced some still married others are children of , all can recover and make better choices in this program , dont be nervous all your going to find in meeting rooms is acceptance and understanding .. Louise
The first thing you will find at an Al-Anon meeting is that you will walk into a room filled with people that will become your new family and will love you just for who you are. They will not judge you, they will not belittle you but they will listen to you as long as you want to talk for as long as you want to talk. They will also be there for you even if your not in a meeting. All groups have phone lists that you can call someone when you just need to talk. A phone call to someone on the list is beneficial not only to you but also to them because if they are struggling with an issue the time they spend talking to you gives them a vacation from their issues.
When I went to my first meeting I was looking for ten little words that would make my family members sober by next Tuesday. They informed me that I was there to work on myself not the alcoholics/addicts in my life. I didn't understand this because I wasn't the one out there drinking and drugging ruining other peoples lives. It took maybe two more weeks of solid meetings...at least once daily for me to realize that yes I was contributing to the problems of others and that I could not change them but I could change ME. Accepting the fact that if the addicted person in my life wanted to continue in their addiction it would not matter one iota what I did or didn't do and that they definitely were not thinking about what it would do to me if they continued.
That was seven years ago and I still go to a minimum of two meetings every week. At the moment those family members who were suffering when I started going to meetings are clean and sober. One, my sister, is no longer with us she overdosed in October 2009. I still have a lot of work to do on me and have a fantastic sponsor that helps me with that.
So go ahead an go and give the group a minimum of six successive meetings. I believe with all of my heart that you will find something useful in those meetings. If you don't feel you have then try a different group but keep trying until you find the help you need.
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Everything I have ever let go of has claw marks all over it.
