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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> I've lost all my marbles
Post Info TOPIC: I've lost all my marbles
Debilyn


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I've lost all my marbles
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Well on my journey... could not even walk this morn. Like my friend told me, u have used up all the beans in your jar, I said no, i lost all my marbles.

She had to come get me, rush me to doc. I had no strength to fight it. Plus I am sick and WANT to get better.

doc was great. friend went in with me. All the stuff you all have been telling me. So much change, even though it is all GOOD, not worrying about money, not worrying about anything. Just plain sick.

Depression pulled me in too deep. Doc told me I did 95% of the work getting me there to him. My bp was horrible 184/100 ugh. Thank goodness all my bloodwork is perfect. No wonder I don't feel good.

Debilyn does not know what to do when she is not a caretaker. no more rescue/rehab/ adoption work.

No more animals.

I am spent. don't want to move an inch. So gotta get better. So now back on effexor. doc said it can take over a year to get over effexor. I did well on it so he is not concerned about bp. it will be ok. Have to go back on it.

I have four weeks or so left here on my place. So can rest some. Not thinking straight. took all my underwear up to the cabin! AND my tummy suppliments. gads.

Oh and I only have the socks that do not match here....not kidding.

Had to go to my sunday meeting with JUST  a skirt... not even any shorts here. wonderful.Yes it was a long skirt...

just not on the ON position.

Reaching out to my friend was not easy. doc was surprised too. I know I am a tough cookie in real life. Now I want to go live at my sons little house in one bedroom with my dogs. I don't think he would want that.

doc asked me what I wanted, i said I wanted my mother and grama.

gotta get well enough to be able to maintain up at the cabin. Its like getting married is cool, wedding, reception, honey moon. BUT it is still stress. I had a horrible headache my first wedding.

Anyway what I am saying it I have all my ducks are in a row, but me.

so... am saying, thank you for watching me on my bumpy path, guiding me, being there.

Just gotta go climb in my feather bed that I just washed Alll my bedding. hint is.... I put belly bands on my bad Pom and poodle rrrrrr dipsticks> I have never in my life had little dogs. I heard they could be bad but gads.....So they are wearying belly bands....

My big dogs would not think to pee in here!NEVER on my pretty bed stuff!

WEll thanks to al anon I don't worry. can't imagine being this empty and worrying too. ugh.

Its a weird place to be for me. Like having all the water in the world around me, good to drink, healthy, but my own stores are on mt.

never been here before and I am going to beat is. aren't I?

I don't know how you guys do it, staying in there with the pain you go thru. I just cannot do that, I can handle the being alone pain and struggles, much better than the struggles of living with an A I love.

going to put on my jammies if I didn't take them up to the cabin. I think i did. gads.

I wish you could hear these FROGS. OMGosh they are sooooo LOUD!!!! I mean different ones too. One is like purring!!! Its pouring rain, ponds are full so they are so jazzed.

hugs,deb crawlin into her CLEAN feather bed.....Fezzik and Happy wondering.."why is this kerchief with a sock in it tied around my uno?



-- Edited by Debilyn on Monday 14th of February 2011 08:49:06 PM

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       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
hotrod


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Dear Deb
Thanks for checking in  I am so glad that you did call your friend and that she was able to get you  to the Doctor.

Please rest, Take the meds and do it one moment at a time.  HP is taking care of the rest (accept maybe the underwearbiggrin)

In my constant prayers

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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
Loupiness


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((Debilyn))

I'd gladly give you some of my marbles if I had any left.

I'm so glad you got to the doctor and that there is a plan to return you to health.

You have done an amazing job taking care of yourself and your animals.

Now it is time to relax and heal.

You are going to be okay.

So nice that you don't have to be out of the house for awhile and can rest.

Wonderful you've made a nice home to go to.

I remember at one point when I finally just got to stop and "feel", and how overwhelming it was.

Gut-wretching, loud sobbing was so healing for me.

Jammies and undies are a good thing. A fixable problem compared to your other battles, huh?

You will beat this, Debilyn

Hang in a there.

One day at a time,

Lou



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Jennifer


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I have buttons ... a big container that was my great grandma's and then everyone started adding to the collection. No marbles just buttons smile.gif

My body does that kind of stuff to me sometimes too. With this condition i seem to be able to get through stress but then BOOM it decides that I need a rest whether I agree or not. It will be OK. Good for you for asking for help and taking care of yourself.

I read a very very very funny book about The Sweet Potato Queens and they have a rule about never wearing panties to a party LOL You are ready!

Be careful, take care of you, prayers and wishes.

Jen

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Jerry F


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(((((Debber)))))...You got the friend and the Doc...where's HP?  HP is real.  Go
cuddle up and snuggle in your HP's lap.  HP is a bigger HP than Momma and Gmom I
know that for sure because my HP has always held me during the tough stuff until
there was no tough stuff left.  Check that you're not fearing anything that isn't
real, like most stuff in your head.  Stuff you imagine isn't real.  When the real stuff
arrives then make the decision on what you're gonna do with it if anything.

I remembered an old ODAAT saying at my home group last Wednesday that made
me smile.  "Never trouble trouble till trouble troubles you."  That's a recovery rule.
You're going thru change...most human beings take their time going thru change
and need more courage from time to time to get it done.

Sorry I don't do frogs either.   ((((hugs)))) smile

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Debilyn


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Just wanted to reassure you Jer. When I woke yesterday morn I was a mess. Immediatly talked to and praying to HP. If I didn't have HP I would not have gotten the energy to call my friend who told me to call my doc.

HP is always there for me.I talk to him constantly. He gave me some numb time so I could function, on top of a good friend and doc.

woke up sick as usual so took my med and am going back to bed.

NO worries hon, hp is hanging onto me tight.love,deb

__________________

Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
DreamsOver


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((((Debilyn))))

I hope you are feeling better, I am glad you saw your doctor and got your meds.

There does come a time we hit a wall and have to crash, and then we allow the body, mind and spirit rest for awhile and then we get up and move on.  I just want you to move at a pace you are comfortable with, listen to your body and mind, and do the smart thing that you did and call a friend and ask for help, and take your meds honey. 

Prayed for you before daylight this morning asking that your HP will guide you and make today a better day for you.

Hang in there.

Dreams

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Debilyn


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t u all. Just made a call, tomorrow I meet up with the wonderful gal taking my parrot. That will be a hard one.

Making arrangements for the last 6 cats.

took care of two more phone things. that is all I can do right now. wus huh?

thank you for caring. I know from experience, that being able to come here, and read what others think helps so much.

And also even though I am whatever I am, nuts, I can come here and respond and share.

Have learned even when I feel this weird, I still want to help others.

Don't even feel like crying today. I know lots of my thing is I need love. My doc and san were so good to me. needed that. Hp knew I did too.

I KNOW how hard it is to leave. I mean in any situation. But I can tell you, once the hard stuff is behind you, life can be so much better.

Some time I will look back and see what this is teaching me.

I do know I want to give it my all. be up there in serenity. BUT I gotta make sure I get my bum out the door to go visit loved ones and invite them up there.

I do know I need people in my life.

nap time, love,deb



__________________

Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
pinkchip


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Deb, Hang in there. 2 and a half years ago I hit the skids with my own drinking and my then partner of 7 years' drinking. I started all over in just about every way. It was so hard and every day felt like a struggle. That is when I went to meetings daily and worked to change like never before. It was painful but I know I needed it and I needed help from others to get there. The road to enlightenment, serenity, and spiritual progress is not always smooth and easy, but you will eventually look back on this period and reference how far you have come and you will be grateful for the experience because you will blossom into the person you are supposed to be. You have my prayers and support. I know what it is like to break down. I have had depressive episodes and panic too. It will pass. Through recovery and the steps you can find a new and better you and a better sense of faith in your higher power.

God has not carried you this far to drop you on your ass. Keep holding on.

Mark

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Debilyn


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thank you mark. YOu just reminded me there is an al anon meeting place in the little town I will live by. I will see if they have day meetings.

I know i cannot drive those curves at  night.

thanks for the encouragement. I am resting. not taking anything on. or very little.

gotta really let go for awhile. love,deb I am glad you pulled yourself out of the horrible pit!

__________________

Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
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