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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Please need help
Post Info TOPIC: Please need help
brook2


Newbie

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Please need help
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I do not know where to start... I have entered in a relationship with a sober alcoholic (8years sober). After almost three years living together, I have ended it,  4 days ago. .....The first 4 months was a fairytail...Now,  I feel so empty and just like my life was sucked out of me.  I have never lived with any alcohol around me, so when I knew she was sober, it didnt bother me, that i was falling deeply in love  with a sober  alcoholic. I had no knowledge. I heard the term dry drunk....I am just so confused and so lost, it is like her addiction became mine. I did everything possible in this world for us to work, but she never cared about my feelings. Every time I tried to explain in every ways, how I feel, she would just flip it against me and find anything true or not true ( I dont even know anymore) just to blame me.  As long there was no complaining  from my side about "feelings satisfaction" everything was OK. All things would become  more important than our relationship, and her words would be just empty words, of how much she loves me and so on...She is still after  8years on her first step, because AA meetings and a sponser is too consistant. Controling character ( speacialy how I should feel) would come-up every time. It is so sad and so heart breaking to know, that she just does not  care how I  feel. Everything in the world is about her , one day she is the hero of the day and next day I should feel sorry for her. She would call be rigid, because I follow through and be consistant. Complete and opposite of her.  I know how beautiful of  a person she can be and is. That it why it is so hard every minute to get through this. I have never been so down and so lost and so hurt. I have no idea what to do...Maybe I am asking to much and I am really at fault...I just cant find the strength to let go.

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Debilyn


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 3653
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Hon you are grieving. It's very hard to have to face the one we love makes us sick. Or more their disease does.

At the end of my post to you there is a site and number to call for meetings in your area. I hope you can get your body out the door and go to meetings. They WANT you there.

We love newbies who come in and stay!

Be good to you. The disease of addiction does suck us dry until we learn not to allow it to.

Its ok to take care of yourself. Very ok. I had to learn late in life that it was vital to be my own best friend. We are very fragile creatures. We need all the support we can get.

I am so glad you found us. Keep coming. We honestly care. love,debilyn

__________________

Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
abbyal


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 3854
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Everything is always about them , me me me but its not personal its the nature of this damn disease , very selfish , have to remind them occasionally that thier are not the only ones in this house . i assume u were not attending Al-Anon meetings for yourself  please find some now u need support , it is possible to live with alcoholism and be happy Al-Anon will show u how to do that , yur saying you practially turned yourself inside out to please her tells me you qualitfy for this program , Happiness is an inside job no one can do it for us including your girl friend  , i am responsible for my own happiness any one else in my life is a bonus they just add to my life in a positive way or thier not in my life . today I know that regardless of what others do I will be okay . Louise

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I came- I came to-I came to be
Merianne


Newbie

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Posts: 2
Date:
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It is always about them, dry or drunk. But, with the Al Anon program and my sponsor I can a work a program for me. I truly believe this program has saved my life. I am still a work in progress but I am alive and well so that I have the opportunity to continue to grow emotionally and spiritually. In the beginning of my work I kept "coming back" because the people at the meeting told me to. I was so desperate for someone to fix my pain that I did what they told me to do. After a short period of time I was "coming back" because I wanted to. Now I find that I can't get enough. I need this program like I need air and water.

This week has been a chance to practice the program and really find out what I have learned so far. I am thrilled that I am not just surviving this week but I am doing okay with the help of my sponsor and my daily readings. Courage to Change is my fav.

Keep coming back. You will find love and acceptance here like never before. I strongly encourage a community meeting and finding a sponsor. 

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Free2BeMe Merianne
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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Please need help