The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Two days ago I found out my husband has been drinking (and hiding it) after 12 years of being sober. He has gotten drunk on several occasions, and I had no clue. He was the designated driver a few times and drove myself and our friends home completly drunk. He put our lives at risk because he couldn't admit he 'xxxx' up.
12 years ago he spent a few weeks in rehab for alcohol and pills and when he got out we both just went on with our lives like everthing was normal. He never attended an AA meeting (and neither did I). We decided to have another child with in days of him getting out of Rehab and got married when I was 3 months pregnant. ( our first daughter was 2 years old at that time)
Although he remained sober for 10 years, he's had problems with debilitating anxiety over the years. Even though I would describe our marriage as generally happy, he has always been very high strung and always trying to control everything. As you can imagine it has been quite exhausting being married to him. Sometimes I call our life together "The John Show" because it always seems to be all about him.
I am a very laid back and easy going person and I defer to him alot. It's just easier I guess. I'm a stay at home mom and I feel very isolated sometimes. Financially, emotionally, and socially I am dependant on him. I feel like he has me right where he wants me. I know he didn't intentionally make it this way and he couldn't have done it without me going along with it the whole time but at this point I feel tottaly vunerable and unsafe now that he has relapsed.
This time we are going to do it right. He's going to his first AA meeting this week and I will find a local Al-Anon meeting for myself ASAP.
Thanks for listening. It's so hard to try and make sense of what is happening. I'm so mad at him right now.
~ Aimee
-- Edited by canadianguy on Sunday 13th of February 2011 06:29:50 PM
Aloha Aimee...Good to have you at MIP...Stick around and read, read, read and you'll find you are not alone in what is going on with you because the alcoholic is out doing what they do. You'll read a lot of suggestions we deal out to each other which gets and keeps us sane and serene. Hang around and recover with us.
