The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today was pretty much like any other day. AH started drinking by 11 am. I just went on with my day, let him do whatever like usual.. Later on in the afternoon with our 8yr old daughter sitting there at the kitchen table, he says to me.. " tell me the truth.. are we fighting a losing battle? can we survive this? do you think I will ever make you happy again?"
I just looked at him... and told him that it wasn't the time to discuss this. That I didn't know what is going to happen. That I refuse to talk to him while in that condition.
He tried telling me that the only time he can talk about his feelings is when he's been drinking. I told him... too bad.. end of conversation.
Thankfully, he did leave it at all, and despite his condition, we all had a pretty normal day ( as normal as it gets I guess)
Yes, you did the right think for you. Have no second thoughts. You took care of yourself. Nothing would have been accomplished. Nothing ever is accomplished arguing with with an alcoholic. Any conversation only escalates. I was "0 for 100" arguing with my A. So good for you, you didn't fall for the bait.
I can remember the same type conversations with my AW several years ago before program. The same questions being asked, the only difference I would react, defend myself, when I really had nothing to defend much less discuss. Gosh, I hated those times. Don't even like to think about those days. But now as I do and look back on them I see my part in them. I am thankful for this program because it taught me to "Not React", it gave me slogans and tools to protect me from myself. How important is it to react to someone who has had to much to drink, involve myself in a battle I can win, and lose my sanity and serenity. Not very!!
Did you do the right thing for yourself?.....absolutely
HUGS, RLC!!
-- Edited by RLC on Saturday 12th of February 2011 11:27:25 PM
I must agree with RLC. It certainly sounds as if you are dong everything right for you. Staying detached-not reacting-and fcscuing on your needs is what eventually enables a great change in attitude to develop
Say what you mean...don't say it mean. I like that guideline. It's pretty much what I've practiced here. To thine own self be true. Great program!! ((hugs))
