Having a hard time - Al-Anon Family Group

member922 · Senior Member

Having a hard time

Tracy · ~*Service Worker*~

I remember how much I wanted my partner to get sober and get a programme. Today he has both and still there is stuff I would change. However today i know that I am very far from perfect and there is a lot that i need to change. I have to accept reality and keep the focus on myself. It is hard sometimes when everthing will not go as I desire but Hp knows best I have to keep reminding myself this, I have not done so good trying to control my own life in the past let alone anyone else. I hear great awareness in yourshare hope you do what is right for you. When I put my programme into practice evrything turns out for the best.

hugs

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

Remember we have NO control over them at all! We have no power over them.

We do have the ability to work on ourselves to be able to accept someone as is or face we choose to move on.

"A fish and a bird can fall in love, but where would they live?" I like that quote.

My mother used to tell me that just because I loved someone, does not mean I can live with them.

I can say with all certainty, that when we want to live with someone, and it feels right, it is. It's not a question really. We really know if we can or choose to stay.

I loved AH all my life. I never doubted it, even when he was gone for years. I loved him enough to want him happy no matter what. That did not mean I could marry, live or be with him.

Worked this program hard, I honestly overcame the "stuff" that used to bug me. I let go of all the bolony and just loved the man. Happy when he was just sitting beside me even if he smelled like alcohol.

I know it can be done. In my mind, it is a horrible disease, so it was easy to love him as is. I did distance myself when I had to. I mean leave the room, or house.

Just could not, would not put up with the physical abuse when his brain damaged whatever it is came out. He would turn pasty white and become a monster. Was very dangerous.

Sounds like you need nurturing. Do you have a friend or family you can go visit, relax some?

huggen ya honey,debilyn

member922 · Senior Member

Thank you. I know I am expecting too much. I am back and forth a lot. I need to ground myself and focus. I am not perfect either.

Not really anyone nearby that's close to me. I will be ok. Just frustrated. No knight in shining armor. Another thing I need to get over. At least I know it.

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