Al-Anon Family Group

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Post Info TOPIC: Detachment with love


Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 7
Date:
Detachment with love


I have cut myself off from my 30 year old son. I pray for the surrender he needs to get well. But struggle with the guilt of my decision to cut ties. I wish God would have me know that I am doing the right thing. Is it my ego that makes me think that others are judging the choice I made? Am just looking for affrimation? I haven't spoken or seen him since the first of January, just stopped answering his calls with no explanation(wouldn't do any good). I Worry about what I would say or do if I ran into him, his wife or her family we all live in a small town.

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~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 17196
Date:

Hi Laura Welcome to MIP

Alcholism is a dificult disease that causes confusion and indecision on everyone's part.  Trying to live with this disease without the healing help of alanon and the  wisdom, and support that alanon provided caused me to second guess myself at every deciision.

Detachment with love is an important tool as is- Living one day at a time, focusing on yourself, gratitude lists, prayer, meetings daily readings from alanon literature  and lastly face to face meetings. 

I found support and the wisdom to use these tools in the room of alanon . and this Board

Face to face meetings are held in most communities and you can locate one near you By going to the following link:

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html

You will be encouraged to keep an open mind and to keep coming back.  Alcoholism is a powerful disease that you did not cause, cannot contorl and cannot cure.  You will be given support to make the right choice for you and your family  I urge you to continue sharing the  journey with us



-- Edited by hotrod on Monday 2nd of April 2012 09:38:55 AM

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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
RLC


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1483
Date:

Welcome Luara,

You turned you son over to a power greater that yourself, your Higher Power, your God, and then got out of His way. We are powerless over this disease, and powerless over what others think. You did the next right thing for yourself and for your son. Continue to be strong, find Al-Anon face 2 face meetings for yourself, read prior post on the MIP site, and keep coming back and posting.

The program tells us to start taking care of ourself first, you made a big step in that direction when you turned your son over to your HP. Now is the time to put the focus on yourself and your recovery ....you need, and deserve it.

I don't know you but we have many things in common, the main one being......Our life has been effected by someone else's drinking. I am glad you found us, you don't have to be alone anymore.

HUGS,
RLC



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~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3854
Date:

ah Lora tough decission , please if your not already find a few Al-Anon groups in your area you need support from people who understand your dilema , detachment dosent have to mean to sever all contact , we just have to accept that we cannot control other people just love them the way they are , learn to set boundaries that keep us healthy and the relationship in tact. We learn to not accept unexceptable behavior in this program and boundaries work . I know you love him and for now the choice you made is what you felt you had to do for yourself ..Please find meetings they will help you so much . Louise

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I came- I came to-I came to be

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