The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My A has had a sponsor for the past year. His sponsor's wife was my sponsor. For many reasons I dropped that scenario and my sponsor a few months ago. He dropped his sponsor as we fought about him all the time. There were a few things the sponsor was advising him on that I would not accept. That was one issue, but the main issue was that I was not yet at the point to not have to try to control out of fear. I am not sure what I would do today, but I do know I still feel completely uncomfortable with the situation the sponsor was telling him was okay.
My A knew I had a problem with the sponsor but didn't know what it was nor did I feel comfortable telling him. I had to be sure of my motives and wasn't sure until today.
I told him everything. I am tired of protecting his sponsor, my sponsor and their son from themselves while watching a wedge grow between my A and I. He was really happy to know and wished I would have told him earlier. He was angry with his sponsor, but I suspect he had an idea already as he had no problem believing me at all. I was surprised about that. My A said he could not stay sober without this sponsor in his life. That scared me and I did mention putting principles above personalities.
It feels so good not to be carrying around that weight. It was frustrating to try to communicate about a situation only sharing a part of the information for the last couple of months. Whew.
In a program where you are working on setting boundaries and such to begin with...It sounds like you did a good job extricating yourself from a very muddled situation.
