Prior to al anon if I met someone who was an alcoholic or addict I didn't make a decision regarding boundaries because I doubted my perceptions.  I had no trust in my abilty to assess other people.  I gave them the benefit of the doubt for years and years.

This week a new woman started at my job.  She lives closeby to me.  I had a little red flag when she told me she was walking a mile and a half because she didn't know what bus to take to get to the train station.  On Friday I showed her which bus to take and on the journey through town she knew exactly where all the bars were.  In fact she had a very enthusiastic conversation with this man on the bus about how great a particular dive bar was and how much the drinks were there.  She regaled how many times she was there and how fantastic it was.  So she can't see or notice the bus stops but she knows where all the bars are. 

Of course I always had these red flags flopping in the wind.  I just never trusted my ability to read them before.  I didn't put myself first, I didn't know how to protect myself.  I didn't value myself enough to say woops there it is.

These days thanks to al anon I do see the flags flopping in the wind and I adjust my boundaries and my expectations accordingly.

Needless to say this woman made a huge error on Friday and the error reflected very badly on my co worker who was working as a team with her.  That was also a red flag that peaked my interest but now I can certainly see the map on the wall.  I was absolutely incapable of protecting myself prior to now.

Maresie.