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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> my update
Post Info TOPIC: my update
Debilyn


~*Service Worker*~

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Date:
my update
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I have to let my home go. Cannot fight this anymore, its honestly too much for one person.

I almost fainted when I got the letter. I called the advocate who gave me more options. I told him I am done. Its too much on my income. I cannot upkeep a 5 acre place with as big a payment as it is on my income.

If the payment was reasonable it would be different. There are so many pumps for water and septic, upkeep for my house, upkeep for the rental.

I have an app. with an attorney next week, Wed. My goal is to hang in here long enough to sock more money away to be able to afford to get us something to live in.

The mortgage co. is under so many lawsuits now, this could take years. One fraud they did was house is in my name, loan is still in Mothers who died in 2000. They told me they transferred it to my name, they did not.

They are charging me late fees when they have been making mistakes and commiting more fraud, taking an inordinate amount of time to get things done.

An attorney can stop them for so long.

So that is where I am. In a way it is a relief. Once I find a new home I will feel better.

Need to have things so simple to be ok.

You guys have and do help me so much. You who have seen me thru all these years of A's disease taking everything, know how hard I fought not to lose my home.

If I had known what I do now, I probably would not have married him, I know I would not have gotten this big place with him. I was doing great in my home in my little town I grew up in when he came around.

My ignorance is a lot of how I got here.

How do I feel? numb, nauseated, apprehensive, hopeful, unbalanced. did I say nauseated?

Am working hard on my head talk to look at what I can gain not what I am going to lose. I have already faced all those losses.

Addiction is so horrible in what it does to innocent, ignorant (means you don't know)good people.

Talked to hp a lot last night. His outcome is always best. Someday I will feel better.

Wish I was ready to walk away right now.

I am tired of not being able to smile, and have forgotten what it feels like to be happy.
His disease blew up my world. I tried to hold it together.

Need energy so bad. I am blessed to have a loving HP.
 Ideas?
I need prayers and love so badly. yours,debilyn

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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
xeno59


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1138
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((( debilyn )))

You always have my prayers !!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am so sorry the outcome is not what you wished nor what we wished for you.
But I have no doubt in my mind what so ever that you are going to land on your feet.
The process of losing you home can take years you are correct, lots of time to save up some money to get yourself a good home.
I wish I could make things better for you, have the right words to say to comfort you but i am not sure there are any.
However things turn out it is in the greater plan of HP...he may feel you are needed elsewhere.
sending you lots of hugs
Blessings

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hotrod


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 17196
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Dear Deb

I know that you did not want this outcome but your acceptance and wisdom at this time is so very  inspiring.

I will add your requst to my prayers line and I know HP will guide the outcome

Prayers Deb  

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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
danielle0516


Senior Member

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Posts: 302
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(((((Debilyn))))) Just reading this inspires me more than I can put into words. Your strength and will and positive outlook are miracles in themselves.

There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that you will come out on top and be happier and have found more serenity from it.

Just remember to keep telling yourself, whenever this struggle (finding a new home) and moving on is behind you, you'll be so much happier. Imagine the weight that will be lifted off your shoulders! No more worry, no more drama, no more fighting with insurance companies and lawyers, more 'room' financially.. ect.

You are in my thoughts:) I know you will be just fine.

Danielle

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Jerry F


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Posts: 13696
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Stay with the small slow steps Debber...do only what is in front of you for the moment
and keep pitching the other stuff up to HP.  I'm with you on the process cause it
seems like time for us to follow those footsteps ourselves.   Letting go and listening
also.   (((hugs))) smile

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pinkchip


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 5663
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I was told that if you utilize the support you have and the 12 steps...you can come through any trauma or loss and be stronger for it. I maybe be going through this before long too. I don't know if you buy into "One day at a time" over here at alanon, but what you are facing seems pretty overwhelming. I would have to break it down to just dealing with it a day at a time or my head would explode. Prayers are with you Danielle. I guess, while you are going through some really hard times right now, it's an investment you are making for a happier future which is free of someone else ruining your hopes and dreams.

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kath


Senior Member

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Posts: 125
Date:
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Thank you for sharing so much that I can relate to.

May you be blessed with peace and understanding.

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