Went to alanon meeting - Al-Anon Family Group

suave75 · Veteran Member

Went to alanon meeting

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

Wow you are asking the right questions and I am impressed! So glad you are starting meetings. When I used to go, we loved it when new people came.

Its ok to be quiet!I like the saying,"just get your body there."

Do you have, "Getting Them Sober?" May I invite you to look at the top of the board. Canadian guy is very happy to send you a copy.

I get books for almost nothing, used, on Amazon.com. You could also call your library to see if they have Al Anon books.

When you are at the next meeting you might ask if anyone has some literature you can borrow. I know I would be happy to share.

The longer I was in Al Anon and working my program the better I felt. I learned to even be ok with the A for periods of time when he was using and very sick.

When we learn how to take care of ourself, we do so much better in most situations.

My mother was shy too. I know it is just part of a person and very ok. Over time she was more comfortable in social situations. I think her allowing herself to feel what she felt, validating it, made it easier to keep going to things.
She was tender with herself in other words.

I know I am like that. But I am at the point of comfort that I will wear a blue sock and a green one as they do match uno! (c:

when we are more comfortable with our own lives, our own interests, the A's stuff is easier to leave where it belongs, with them. It is their disease to own, not ours.

The best thing we can do for others and our self is to enrich our own lives. Find out more about who we are. It sounds like your A cares about you very much. Does not want you to feel hurt by his recovery in any way.

The best way for me was to accept every moment as being precious, the time we do have with them precious.

A person building a strong recovery program needs to focus on that. They become a person they like themselves. Then they feel better around us. They are healing.

I was so close to my AH. When he quit smoking... geez where did he go. It was rough. But thank goodness I am pretty self actualized so I knew he still loved me, that he needed me to allow him the dignity to do it on his own, however he was going to do it.

big breath....I am sooo happy to see you grabbing onto the program!

love,debilyn

abbyal · ~*Service Worker*~

How can I be supportive ? by getting your own program learning all you can about this disease and how it has affected your life and how to not let it affect your life .. learn to not resent his dependence of meetings they are keeping him sober , enjoy ... early sobriety is not easy everything is different and the alcoholic is not the only one who has to change we do too , we had a part in the mess figure out what that was and how to stop it .. We learn to stay out of thier stuff and if your busy fixing you , there really is no time to look at what thier doing . You may find a meeting that has a lending library pick up an odat our first daily reader , its awsome for new commers and for me a detachment pamphlet was a must it told me exactly what my part was and to do list . keep going eventually you will find yourself sharring your feelings it truly is the only way anyone can help you as most have been where your at ,they can share thier own solutions with you .. a sponsor is a guide someone who has been in program for awhile , works the steps attends meetings regularly and listens to me they are invaluable .. good luck keep the focus on yourself and your gonna be just fine . Louise

f2fmember · Veteran Member

Well done for getting to your first meeting Suave

I went to alanon a while before my husband found sobriety. I think the important thing to remember is that Alanon is about you, for you and caring for you is how you will be supportive.
He will sort out his own program.

Many of our newcomers say nothing for a good while but pick up on the slogans.
Are there slogans around the walls? (we have ours on the floor).

Alanon sinks into our being by osmosis.....drip drip drip
After a while another newcomer will join and you'll suddenly find you know something....because they like you come to their first meeting with lots of questions and lots of fear.

We learn through the experience strength and hope of the others in the room.

One day at a time.....keep going back....it will help

f2f

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

If you continue to go and come here and keep an open mind willing to let others
share there experiences with you (what it was like, what we found out and what it
is like now) everything will change as you follow thru and practice. You will come to
realize miracles from recovery and you will know peace of mind and serenity. Read
the suggestions and let the old timers lead the way. Meetings, literature, sponsor,
steps, traditions, slogans and the best relationship you can build with a God of your
understanding and time with practice, practice, practice. It will never be perfect so
just the progress will rebuild your spirit and give you a smile many will envy.

Keep coming back here also...glad you shared your experience with us too. (((hugs)))
smile

RLC · ~*Service Worker*~

(((suave)))

Giant step in awareness of all that is ahead for you in the program. Your answers will come, not overnight but "one meeting" at a time. There is no magic to recovery, only a recovery process. That process started for you tonight.

HUGS,
RLC

Tracy · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi,
so glad you have found al anon and attended your first meeting. One of the slogans is listen and learn you will share when you are ready we all do it at different times. My partner is is early recovery he has been sober for nearly five months. Everything is changing. At first I expected everything to just e fine cause he was no longer drinking but I know today that his ercovery and AA have to come first without it he will relapse. I love him and want him to beat this. So I go to my meetings and I try anf focus on me, this is the best thing I can do. If my thoughts become negative rather than ringing him and moaning, I come on here, go to a meeting or ring someone

hope this helps

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.