The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hello, everyone. I'm new to this group. I've been scrolling through the message board and am comforted just reading other people's stories. I left my AH this weekend. He drank to "celebrate" finishing an exam and a good meeting with his supervisor after promising not to drink "for a while" back around halloween when we got in a fight and he grabbed me. This weekend, while he waited for his pot dealer to deliver his weed, he got antsy, provoked a fight and things escalated until he punched a hole in the wall. i called the police to get him out of the house since i didn't want another confrontation. they came and arrested him and found his weed. they kept him in a holding cell over night. i got peace for the night. he left the next day to stay at friends who also use and has been staying there since. he says he is moving out. he has calmed down, says the marriage ended because i called the police and it was "uncalled for". i told him the marriage ended long before that. we are on civil terms, but he won't accept he has a problem. he thinks i'm the one with the problems...yes, i have my own issues...we both drank when we first met. i'm dealing with my own recovery from childhood sexual abuse. this is bringing up so much post-traumatic stress for me. i know i am doing the right thing but i doubt myself, doubt what has happened. anyway, thanks for listening and for sharing your stories.
this is just something i wrote in my journal and thought i'd share:
i feel as if i'm drowning...that's not exactly true...it's not like drowning...but i can't draw enough breath...it takes strength just to breathe. i feel hungover...love hangover...codependency hangover...like i have just stopped drinking but i'm not the alcoholic. i feel numb...like i need a cigarette though i haven't smoked in months...a craving for something i can't put my finger on....anxiety...butterflies in the pit of my stomach. fear...fear of life? of living? the unknown? i saw 2 cops on the street as i walked to the GP, said good morning to them, they said good morning back and smiled. then i saw a police officer in the pet store, then the security guard at the grocery store, and i think another one on the street...all in a span of a few hours...signs...signs that i am safe now, that i made the right decision to keep myself safe. trust god. i am learning to trust god.
Normal drinkers don't punch holes in walls. Normal people don't need to hide their drugs in case the police come by. Your husband sounds like a classic addict and he is nowhere close to admitting he has a problem.
By drawing boundaries and refusing to be the victim any more, you are freeing yourself from all that PTSD stuff as much as you can. Stay strong.
Thank you, Pink, for the clarity. I am having a hard time accepting the reality of things, so it's good to get some perspective. I could tell he was getting drunk and told him" no more"....like I could control it or him...and even hid the 2 pints that were left in the fridge! That is definitely not normal.
You have taken a powerful action to protect yourself and have found a strong belief in your God. That is very courageous. . Please know that alanon meetings can help you grow and learn new constructive tools to live your life even if you are no longer dealing with the disease in your home
Face to face Meetings can be found by looking in the white pages and calling the hotline We also have 24/7 hour chat and 2 on-line meetings here every day. We believe that alcoholism is a disease that we did not cause, cannot control and cannot cure. Living with the disease makes us ill as well.
We attend meetings to break the isolation, learn how to live One day at a Time, Focus on ourselves, Learn to appreciate what we have and build on that for our futures.
It is all a process and you are not alone Please keep coming back.
Thank you, Betty. I've just attended my first online meeting. The live meeting near me conflicts with my other fellowship, so it was the next best thing. I think it was also very helpful and supportive. I look forward to using the boards and the meetings.
Welcome Know, I am glad you found MIP. I have found support and sharing of experiences here and through meetings and literature that has provided me with the tools to make the best decisions to take care of myself with or without the chaos of an active addict in my life. I know you will find the same. Thank you for sharing.
Oh boy do I understand that! I call him my monster moostiff but in truth he is a typical gentle giant english madtiff. And he owns my heart, lock stock and barrel. I've had many furry friends but my moostiff is teaching me all about true unconditional love LOL I even get to practice my AlAnon tools with him mostly in accepting I can not change the stubborn beast
heheh...that's so true about not being able to change your dog! And they need to learn boundaries! I am also learning how to be assertive but not aggressive through my doggies...and of course, unconditional love!
I'm looking after my ex who is an A due to the fact she was subjected to serious child abuse.
The vodka blockes out the past but destroyed our relationship, when I found out the vile truth from her past I eventually managed to get the Police involved and the father investigated. We find out soon if he is to be charged, this will hopefully enable her to get compensated for years of misery.
