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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Just two drinks, but still...
Post Info TOPIC: Just two drinks, but still...
ms621


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Just two drinks, but still...
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Just talked to my husband and he has had two beers.  He's in the very beginning of realizing he is an alcohol abuser.  We no longer have it in the house and he says he's never felt better.  He lied and lied until I begged for the truth--but I knew, I heard it in his voice--just sort of a test, I guess, waiting to hear if he'd be honest or not.  He has lied about it so much.  It really hurts.

It's only been two beers (or so he says, but I can tell in his voice it hasn't been much more than that), but it still bothers me.  I need to get to my first meeting, just so nervous about it.  There's one tonight, but it's a Friday, I've had a long week, etc.  I suppose I'm just making excuses for myself, now.  I should just go.  I think I'll go as long as the two beers from this afternoon are all he's had when I come home, since we have a 7 month old daughter to be taken care of.

I'm also starting to read Codependent No More and it seems this book was written for me!  But, as my Mom says (a recovering alcoholic herself), "the book is great, but it doesn't replace going somewhere in person where everyone understands your problems."



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anewyear


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Go to the meeting, I'm sure you can bring the baby if need be.

I went to my third face to face meeting (second in this town) and it is wonderful. You get hugs and understanding and there's laughter and a few tears.

It's a good positive energy and you need that right now. Please go.

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RLC


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(((Mandy)))

Your Mother is very wise lady, it could not have been said any better. Give her a hug from me.

Here's your HUG,
RLC

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RLC


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P.S. Mandy,

I looked up the definition of "A Couple Of Beers" in Websters Alocholic Dictionary.

It stated that a couple of beers can vary in numbers between 2 and 20. Just kidding or course, but the fact remains it's close to the truth.

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Phoe


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I hope you can get to that meeting tonight!

(((hugs)))

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abbyal


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biggrinYou have a very wise mother - you miss so much of this program if you only read books and come on line and take baby with you or ask mom to babysit for a couple of hrs if possible .. you need support from people who understand .and i was told yrs ago any husb who admits to drinking 6 is not a problem seems the most popular answer is 2 !!!  go figure . Louise

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canadianguy


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RLC's "Websters definition" was priceless..... I couldn't agree more.....

In an alcoholic's muddied viewpoint, "2" likely equals "the amount I need to convince you I have had, just so you aren't too upset", lol

Remember - words like "only two" are in direct contrast to the known fact that alcoholism is a progressive disease..... it is words of someone who still believes that they can 'control' their drinking...

Take care
Tom

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ms621


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UPDATE:

Unfortunately, the "two beers" turned into "I'm passed out on the couch." Unfortunately again, by taking baby with me to the meeting, I think I'd be too concerned with how she is than able to listen to others and focus on myself. But the baby is having a sleepover at Nana's tomorrow night, so I'll have no reason not to go. I'm obviously good at finding reasons not to go...LOL.

RLC...hilarious!!

Tom, thanks for your words.

To all, thanks for making me laugh. I needed that! If I can get this darn computer to bring up that chat room, I'll be at the 9pm online meeting!

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xeno59


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I hope your meeting went well smile.gif

I can tell you from experience with my son who is an addict..before i really got the hang of working this program and my son would come home high, I went into interrogation mode. I was relentless and brutal until he would finally confess to what I needed to hear.
Doing that took such an emotional tole on the both if us. Why did I need him to validated what was so clearly staring me in the face. I believed his lies for so long I seemed to need his validation that what I was seeing was real.
I no longer need that validation.... Now i trust my instincts. What i see and hear before me and I can validate my own feelings.
It has stopped much of the fighting, lying, confrontaions etc....that just takes too much out of me, I end up angry, resentful, unable to sleep etc and my son goes on his merry way.
He is clean and sober at the moment..but has not yet earned my trust. However I do not question him anymore...if he starts using it will be no secret
Wishing you all the best
Blessings

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