The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My new study was quite interesting. I have thought often that the extreme co dependence of my A is a program killer when we reconcile. It seems that no matter how strong his program is, once he is in an intimate relationship he loses it via gradually living for me. It is the one thing that really drives me nuts when he is in the midst of those behaviors and pushing for me to have the same ones.
Last night at my new study I really understood a woman that was there. A few of us talked for a long time after the meeting and it turns out she is an A in Al-anon. She said she never would have stayed sober without both programs. She explained a scenario that was like the story of my A with his program.
I think I can learn lots from her about how to be patient as I am losing some of that patience over the past couple of days.
It was so very interesting what she had to say. I am excited to sponge some of her knowledge.
I've heard so many times from double-winners (AA members who are also Al-Anon members) that their real recovery didn't start until they walked through Al-Anon's doors.
My mother once shared a theory with me (take what you like and leave the rest)... she conjectured that we all start off as Al-Anons - there's just an unfortunate percentage of us Al-Anons out there who also have the physical allergy to alcohol.
Every time I've been to an open AA meeting, I can completely relate with the AA members' discussions about relationships and wanting to control what's not theirs to control. With the exception of discussing fighting the urge to drink, I know we're all very much alike.
